Jump to content
SASS Wire Forum

Ain't it about time for a TREE FETCH?


Grizzly Dave

Recommended Posts

After two or three rounds on Big Jakes tab, Utha stumbles out of the Saloon, fumbles around in the saddlebags for his new Acme Instant Tree Remover and bumbles for the pineywoods.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Big Jake walks through the Bat Wing doors in the Saloon (ACS) and up to the bar. "Bottles, git me a Bucket of Beer and a Ice cold Mug" Seeing his Tab on top of the pile and lots of Drinks on it, he figures it's his time to buy drinks for all the Saloonatics who hang out here at Tree gittin time. "Here's a couple of Gold double Eagles to pay off this tab, put the rest on Flint's tab from now on Bottles" He heads for his favorite table under the stairway where it's safe when things start flying around in the Saloon, which it always does this time of year.

 

Big Jake sits his tired butt down and takes off the saddlebags that he had slung over his shoulders. Packed with Dynamite and Nitro left over from Last years Tree gittin when 'Ol Chip Tosser blew up the tunnels. "Anyone here seen Marshal Rusty Bore or Chip?" Tree fetchin' time always bring Toostone lots of Fun and great times. I thought I even saw Thundering Flatulence tied up out to the Hitching post in front of the Saloon. We need to get the Nurseafining Nuns on call to patch up all that gits wounded this year too. What'll happen next???

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Ol' Grizz woke up under the table in the back corner, how long he'd been there he didn't know, all he could reccolect was that it was getting on towards Christmas time, and the fact he was in the corner under the table, meant there was no Christmas tree in the corner where it should have been.

 

He crawled out and grabbed a bottle off the first table he found and took a goodly swig to wash the dust from his throat, 'thank ya kindly' he said to who-ever was sitting at the table, he weren't rightly sure who it was, his eyes hadn't gotten used to the light yet.

 

As he half swaggered and half staggered up to the bar, he looked from side to side, there were a fair number of folks around, and they were all looking at him expectantly...

 

When he got to the bar he turned around slowly...and bellered out

 

WHAT IN THE HECK ARE YA ALL SITTIN' AROUND HERE FOR? IT'S TIME FOR A TREE FETCH!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wint tu tha woods an found tha purfet tree, then wint an put it up, rat nex tu the indoor water hole. I hung all sorts of shiny thingys on it, sat back and sed, yas sur, life is good, for Christ is Born.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Calamity heard Griz hollering from the bar clear across the street. She looked at her staff and said, "here we go again". "Best get all the bandages and dressings you can round up from around the store." "We're sure to be needing them this year......."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chili rides up on his mule Thundering Flatuance (TF for short). I'm all liquered up and ready fer the Tree Fetch in the Saloon. I found this cool tree in Tennessee and had a weee sample.

 

http://www.jackdaniels.com/history/holiday-barrel-tree/?trust=yes

 

 

 

 

Chili Pepper Kid

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wuz just about to enter the saloon when I heard some lady holler at Grizz,, "Yur nothing but a mean poopie head!"

 

Now my momma didn't raise no dummies soze I stopped in my tracks and backed up a bit, then I remembert why I hadn't scalped him long ago.

 

Poopie Head!!!! Yuck!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Grizz is the one with the Civic, I drive an HHR.....

 

 

 

and my other spirits are in the fridge.....I'll stay here and drink em' an YOU go get the tree....just don't take Cheyenne.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tomorrow iz Christmas Eve and NO TREE yet???? we gotta git busy and head out and git one or elebenty-seven of 'em case sumpin' happens to it (them). Somebody go git the Humongawagon and hitch up a team of Shires to pull it with. Bottles a free round on me for everyone in the Saloon (ACS) and they gotta promise to git jiggy with gittin' a TREE for Christmas.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

IwL hitch a team of Cali's Clydesdales to our largest freight wagon, brang a box of TNT to blast it out roots and all, thit way weze kin plant it on tha ranch after Christmas.

 

Soze, I got tha team, wagon an tha TNT, whuze gonna ride along an pick it out, Caliiiiiiii

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wellllll, I guess we best be leavun Cali behind, who wunts to go get tha tree?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.