Dawg Hair, SASS #29557 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 And I'm no sissy! But why do I see my mom looking back at me everytime I look in the mirror! Your Mom?? Heck I see my Granpa when I look in the mirror!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noz Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 When your grandchildren ask if color TV was invented yet when you were their age AND YOU TELL THEM ,NO! My folks used to take me to a friends house to watch Lawrence Welk. My father liked the music. I didn't see a complete TV show (other than LW) until I went to college. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgil Ray Hality, SASS# 37355 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Funny. Chrysler "invented" the minivan (in 1984, 34 years after VW introduced the Microbus ) because station wagons were uncool middle-class suburbian, and now "crossovers" are replacing minivans because they're uncool middle-class suburbian. That is 100% correct. VW made a bus and Chrysler made a van. Vans don't catch on fire as much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Sam, SASS #10915 Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 When people ask me "How long have you been cowboy shooting?" I always have to answer "Since we were doing it for real." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Winchester Jack, SASS #70195 Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 when your wife says "lets run upstaris and make love" and you say you cannot do both Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tango Mike 20653 Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 When I told my grand daughter to git me something out of the ice box. She said,"I don't see an ice box, Papa. Is it behind the refrigerator?. When I bought a full tank of gas for my Chevy pickup, and it cost more that I paid for my first truck! Seriously. 40 dollars for a 1928 Model A with a wooden bed, in 1955. When I tell my wife I got lucky today, and she knows I got a nap. When a secretary at work asked me, "Now, who was Jimmy Doolittle?" But after all of these years I have learned something: The reason we Baptists were so dead set against immoral sex, robbery, drunkenness, and gambling, is ......... any one of those could lead to dancing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgil Ray Hality, SASS# 37355 Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 Your prematurely aged guns still look younger than you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krazy Kajun Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 The list below is not original from me but I received them in an email....thought they were pretty good so I thought I'd share them : 1. You and your teeth don't sleep together. 2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any. 3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal. 4. Your back goes out, but you stay home. 5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture. 6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch. 7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. 8. When happy hour is a nap. 9. When you're on vacation, and your ENERGY runs out before your money does. 10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you, and you always hated it. 11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age. 12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there. 13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up. 14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired. 15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer. 16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr. 17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. 18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend. 19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot. 20. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals. 21. It takes twice as long to look half as good. 22. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work. 23. You look for your glasses for half an hour, and they were on your head the whole time. 24. You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there. 25. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good. 26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore. 27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. 28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooting Bull Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 23. You look for your glasses for half an hour, and they were on your head the whole time. You mean Sour Kraut's been old for as long as I've known her?!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whiplash LaRue Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 ...when your wife says "let's go upstairs and have sex", and you reply "I can't do both"! Oops, That one was already taken. Sorry. What was the question? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hashknife Cowboy Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 When you are now getting up when you use to go to bed...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Complicated Lady Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 when I walk by a mirror and I see my older sister and think, "when did she get here and when did she decide to be a blonde?" when they give me my school ID badge and I think, "who is that old woman and why do they keep insisting it's me?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaukValley Sam, SASS # 66557 Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 When you see Lee Majors, the Six Million Dollar Man, on TV advertising bionic hearing aids! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyatt Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 ...........you see long time friends of your parents and you are comfortable using their first name rather than calling them Mr. or Mrs. Smith ............you start tapping your toes to elevator music Wyatt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 ...........you see long time friends of your parents and you are comfortable using their first name rather than calling them Mr. or Mrs. Smith ............you start tapping your toes to elevator music Wyatt What elevator music? I don't hear no elevator music! ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgil Ray Hality, SASS# 37355 Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 ...........you see long time friends of your parents and you are comfortable using their first name rather than calling them Mr. or Mrs. Smith ............you start tapping your toes to elevator music Wyatt Elevator music is almost as good as dentist office music but not as good as doctor office music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fingers McGee Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 when I walk by a mirror and I see my older sister and think, "when did she get here and when did she decide to be a blonde?" when they give me my school ID badge and I think, "who is that old woman and why do they keep insisting it's me?" You are obviously refering to someone else CL. Neither of those situations could possibly be about you. When when you go to the kitchen to refill your water glass & leave it on the refrigerator ice dispenser when you go back into the family room. Fingers (Show Me MO smoke) McGee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Complicated Lady Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 You are obviously refering to someone else CL. Neither of those situations could possibly be about you. When when you go to the kitchen to refill your water glass & leave it on the refrigerator ice dispenser when you go back into the family room. Fingers (Show Me MO smoke) McGee Thank you for the confidence boast. Us old ladies appreciate them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pay Dirt Norvelle #90056 Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 When an all nighter is not have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Thank you for the confidence boast. Us old ladies appreciate them! ..... who are you calling OLD ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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