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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

Subdeacon Joe

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A Texas farmer was on holidays in Kerry and he met a local farmer. They started talking about their farms. The Texan explained that he had a thousand cattle and the local farmer only had 100. The Texan has 2000 acres and the local guy had 100. The Texan had 50 employees and the local guy had none. The Texan said that it takes him a full day to drive from one side of his ranch to the other. The Kerry farmer said that he used to have a tractor like that once too

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I couldn't watch that one.


I've got some Puerto Rican in-laws, and I've been withWHERE Lucy's at.


And friends and neighbors, it ain't real fun. The thing I said the most when I was on the island, was, "lento, por favor". Between me trying to pronounce Spanish in English (hint - that J is an H, that E is an A, that I is an E, those two Ls are a Y, and that N with a wiggle on top of it is a NY) and them talking faster than my ear could hear, it was just plain embarrassing sometimes.


Plus of course the lovely thing that there is no such language as Spanish. There is Castillian which they speak in Spain, Puertorican (y'all notice that's just one word? I always thought it was two, but found out different when I was talking to them) which they speak in Puerto Rico, Cuban which is what Ricky is trying to get Lucy to do, and then there's Mexican which for some damn reason is what they taught me in fourth grade.


And it's like American and English and Australian. It's similar, but it ain't the same language.

Edited by Alpo
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A new camp commander was appointed and while inspecting the place, he saw 2 soldiers guarding a bench.

He went over there and asked them why they guard it.

"We don't know. The last commander told us to do so, and so we did. It is some sort of regimental tradition!"

He searched for the last commander's phone number and called him to ask him why did he want guards on this particular bench.

"I don't know. The previous commander had guards, and I kept the tradition."

Going back another 3 commanders, he found a new 100-year-old retired General.

"Excuse me, sir. I'm now the CO of the camp you commanded 60 years ago. I've found 2 men assigned to guard a bench. Could you please tell me more about the bench?"

"What?! Is the paint still wet?!"

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