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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread


Subdeacon Joe

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A man enters a cafe and sits at a table.

A waitress asks for his order.

“One coffee, please, without cream,” he replies.

The waitress responds, “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to take it without milk; we haven’t any cream”.

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On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident.

The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.

While waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived, they asked him if they could get married in Heaven.

St. Peter said,

"I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months.

While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all?

"What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?"

Yet another month passed before St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled.

"Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple.

"But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted.

"It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?!

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A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there the mother-in-law passed away.

The undertaker said to them:

"You can have her shipped home for five thousand dollars or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for one hundred and fifty dollars".

The man thought about it and told him to just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asks:

"Why would you spend 5000 dollars to ship your mother-in-law home when it would be wonderful to have her buried here with only 150 dollars".

The man replied:

"A man died here two thousand years ago, he was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance

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Hey y’all
 

Found this one's for all my fellow sharpshooters here.
 

Why did the cowboy bring a pencil to the gunfight?

Because he wanted to draw!
 

I hope this one tickles your funny bone a bit. Keep the laughter rollin’ and the barrels hot!
 

Happy Trails, Partners!

Edited by Sassycombo
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