The Aussie Humour Thread

[Buckshot Bear]

Moving the Big Merino

 

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Brazos John]

2 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Texas used to be that way.

Parts of it still are...

 

Texas Primer: The Hi Sign – Texas Monthly

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

4 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

 

         ....... so, .... you've been here ?  

[Alpo]

I don't get it.

 

Miles per hour is a measurement of speed, normally used in reference to a motorized vehicle.

 

Bunnings is a hardware/garden supply store, and snags are sausage.

 

My car will do 125 mph.

 

YEAH, WELL MINE WILL DO 176 HOT DOGS PER WALMART.

 

If that makes sense to y'all, you really do talk funny.

Edited October 28, 2023 by Alpo

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

Dear Uncle Alpo,

   First sausages AIN'T hotdogs.

   Second Bunnings is more like Lowes or Harbour Freight.

Bunnings has a (sort of) tradition of allowing community groups to conduct a "sausage sizzle" outside their front door on both days of each weekend to raise money for themselves. I think Bunnings even supply the equipement. There seems to be some sort of roster as to which community group is next, school groups, scout groups, model train clubs Mens Shed, and a host of others.

  On my way to my shooting range I can stop at McDonalds for breakfast or I can stop at Bunnings and help finance a local worthy community group and still eat just as healthy .....  

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

  ......... and they should be setting up right about now ......  

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

a hardware store , and a cook out , that could cost some serious money 

 

  CB 

 

  I loke eating much better than workin' 

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

13 hours ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

 

         ....... so, .... you've been here ?  

 

Sherron, Big Red and I had holidays all arranged (4 weeks) flight tickets bought, passports ready and we were one (1) UNE/UNO day away from leaving for Cairns, where a buddy and his wife were on Teachers Exchange, when the shi dung hit the fan at work.

I was called back in to work to first witness the then boss being fired and then to be appointed to take their place and to clean up a real mess.

Oh well. Made Director about 10 years before I thought I would and the city reimbursed me for everything out of pocket.

Retired now and just Big Red and I, but the trip remains on my bucket list.

Edited October 28, 2023 by Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783]

On 10/26/2023 at 5:26 PM, Buckshot Bear said:

The rich kids had these ones.

 

Color dental implants?

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

10 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

 

Sherron, Big Red and I had holidays all arranged (4 weeks) flight tickets bought, passports ready and we were one (1) UNE/UNO day away from leaving for Cairns, where a buddy and his wife were on Teachers Exchange, when the shi dung hit the fan at work.

I was called back in to work to first witness the then boss being fired and then to be appointed to take their place and to clean up a real mess.

Oh well. Made Director about 10 years before I thought I would and the city reimbursed me for everything out of pocket.

Retired now and just Big Red and I, but the trip remains on my bucket list.

 

 ........ let me know when you are comming so I can hide the good silverware ...... 

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

just label em for use with Vegemite 

 

  ain't no one gonna touch em 

 

  CB 

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

3 minutes ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

 

     ..... "yeah, ..... maybe you're right .... "

[Buckshot Bear]

23 hours ago, Abilene Slim SASS 81783 said:

Color dental implants?

 

You guys as kids didn't play knucklebones/jacks?

 

They were either plastic like below of real knuckle bones.

 

[Buckshot Bear]

On 10/29/2023 at 5:36 AM, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

Dear Uncle Alpo,

   First sausages AIN'T hotdogs.

   Second Bunnings is more like Lowes or Harbour Freight.

Bunnings has a (sort of) tradition of allowing community groups to conduct a "sausage sizzle" outside their front door on both days of each weekend to raise money for themselves. I think Bunnings even supply the equipement. There seems to be some sort of roster as to which community group is next, school groups, scout groups, model train clubs Mens Shed, and a host of others.

  On my way to my shooting range I can stop at McDonalds for breakfast or I can stop at Bunnings and help finance a local worthy community group and still eat just as healthy .....  

 

 

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783]

6 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

You guys as kids didn't play knucklebones/jacks?

 

They were either plastic like below of real knuckle bones.

 

Never heard of, or seen them. In the US, they looked like this:

 

[Buckshot Bear]

Big koala family outside Port Macquarie

 

[Buckshot Bear]

The big Croc. Normanton QLD

 

[Buckshot Bear]

10 minutes ago, Abilene Slim SASS 81783 said:

Never heard of, or seen them. In the US, they looked like this:

 

 

I've never seen those ones, my Mum used to dye the knuckle bones from the Sunday roast with beetroot juice to colour them. 

[Texas Joker]

I always thought knucklebones was more like marbles.

[Eyesa Horg]

11 minutes ago, Abilene Slim SASS 81783 said:

Never heard of, or seen them. In the US, they looked like this:

 

And weren't they a joy to step on with bare feet.

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

worse that leggo blocks 

leggo blocks hurt 

 

 metal jacks make ya bleed 

 

 CB 

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783]

8 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

And weren't they a joy to step on with bare feet.

Yup. Just like Legos!

3 minutes ago, Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 said:

worse that leggo blocks 

leggo blocks hurt 

 

 metal jacks make ya bleed 

 

 CB 

True…

[Alpo]

24 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Big koala family outside Port Macquarie

 

Don't look like that big of a family to me. I only see three. Hell there was five in my family when I was a kid, and six in my family when I was a grown up.

 

Three is a big family. Hooey.

[Buckshot Bear]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

Don't look like that big of a family to me. I only see three. Hell there was five in my family when I was a kid, and six in my family when I was a grown up.

 

Three is a big family. Hooey.

 

I hope you're family members weren't/aren't 18' tall.....they must have a hard time buying trousers  

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Buckshot Bear]

I think they work, you don't see a lot of smokers these days down here

 

 

 

 

[Alpo]

Wow

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Sedalia Dave]

Was showing my new girlfriend some of the posts in the Saloon and we came across pickled beets. She likes them. I had never tried them so she popped a couple out of a jar in the fridge and we had them alongside our Tuna Salad sandwiches.

 

Not too bad. Wouldn't go out of my way to eat them but they weren't horrible tasting either.  Did stain my fingers red though.

Edited October 30, 2023 by Sedalia Dave

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783]

 

17 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

I think they work, you don't see a lot of smokers these days down here

 

 

 

 

I’m sure they’re heavily taxed too, which makes the government addicted to the revenue. 
 

The dirty little secret in this country is the taxes collected on tobacco, which they say is to defray the cost of treating smoking related illnesses, are mostly diverted for general spending. 
 

Years ago the states sued the tobacco companies to “recover” health expenditures. Each state received several billion dollars. Audits later showed that the state of Missouri only spent 6 hundred thousand dollars on health initiatives, while the rest of their 2 billion settlement went to general revenue. That was just one example. I'm sure most states did the same.
 

The hypocrites can’t afford to have anyone quit smoking. 

 

Edited October 30, 2023 by Abilene Slim SASS 81783