Friday Humor - jump in and add some

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

10 hours ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

 

 .............. I'm not gonna tell him neither ........  

He couldn't hear you any way.

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

 

Edited December 4, 2021 by Father Kit Cool Gun Garth

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

Just so you know, nothing starts with a "N" and ends with a "G".

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

7 minutes ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:

[Subdeacon Joe]

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs,

"I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car - NOW!"

The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realized why.  It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her own car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The Sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing!  He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a carjacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

Moral of the story? If you're having a senior moment...make it memorable!

 

 

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

 

 

Edited December 4, 2021 by Father Kit Cool Gun Garth

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

1 hour ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said:

Just so you know, nothing starts with a "N" and ends with a "G".

You never heard of egg Nog?

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

2 hours ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said:

Just so you know, nothing starts with a "N" and ends with a "G".

 

26 minutes ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:

You never heard of egg Nog?

nothing

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

29 minutes ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

 

nothing

 

 .... yes, but he still hasn't corrected his grammatorical error .....   

 

 

 

 

Edited December 4, 2021 by Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062
grammatorical

[Alpo]

"Yes, but".

 

Often used part of speech which means, "you are correct, and I am going to argue anyway".

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

8 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

 

 .... yes, but he still hasn't corrected his grammatorical error .....   

 

 

 

 

Not my error, and spellcheck shows that YOU have made an error... 

Edited December 4, 2021 by Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

42 minutes ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

Not my error, and spellcheck shows that YOU have made an error... 

 

 .... no sir, not your error.

and I live in a country where we thrash the Queens English into submission ..... 

( it's a national sport)

 

 

 

Edited December 4, 2021 by Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062
forgot an important bit

[Alpo]

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that the grammatical error is where it says a "n", and since the letter N sounds like it is spelled enn - that it starts with the vowel e - that should have been an "n".

 

This is one of those half dozen or so letters that even though the letter is a consonant, when you pronounce the letter by itself, it sounds like it starts with a vowel, so you need to say "an" instead of "a". H (aitch) R (are), X (ex), S (ess), M (emm).

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

2 minutes ago, Alpo said:

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that the grammatical error is where it says a "n", and since the letter N sounds like it is spelled enn - that it starts with the vowel e - that should have been an "n".

 

This is one of those half dozen or so letters that even though the letter is a consonant, when you pronounce the letter by itself, it sounds like it starts with a vowel, so you need to say "an" instead of "a". H (aitch) R (are), X (ex), S (ess), M (emm).

 

 ....... your limb is secure,    you can cease sawing now  

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

My doctor told me to reduce my sodium consumption ......

     ..... advice I take with a pinch of salt ...   

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Alpo]

It should be obvious to anyone that those are not baby dinosaurs.

 

Dinosaurs became extinct before they invented color film.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

It should be obvious to anyone that those are not baby dinosaurs.

 

Dinosaurs became extinct before they invented color film.

Dinosaurs did not invent color film.

 

 

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books.

So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks what's wrong.

"The word is celebrate not celibate," says the old monk with tears in his eyes.

 

 

Edited December 5, 2021 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984

[Silent Bob, SASS #23113]

11 hours ago, Alpo said:

It should be obvious to anyone that those are not baby dinosaurs.

 

Dinosaurs became extinct before they invented color film.

Reminded me of this...

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

Why does a chicken coop got two(2) doors ?  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

         ........... well, if it had four(4) doors it'd be a chicken sedan ......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 8, 2021 by Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062
needed fixing

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]