Subdeacon Joe Posted September 20, 2023 Author Share Posted September 20, 2023 16 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said: I think you meant this video. I have no idea how the Dadbod video posted. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted September 20, 2023 Share Posted September 20, 2023 (edited) A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same." says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please.” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke please.” The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad." says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?" "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there." "That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!" "That's right. Whether it's a liter of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there." says the man. The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?" The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.” Edited September 20, 2023 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 20, 2023 Author Share Posted September 20, 2023 https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxVrB2jI-WA/?igshid=M2MyMzgzODVlNw== Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted September 20, 2023 Share Posted September 20, 2023 1 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted September 20, 2023 Share Posted September 20, 2023 2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 20, 2023 Author Share Posted September 20, 2023 3 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 20, 2023 Author Share Posted September 20, 2023 (edited) 17 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: Edited September 20, 2023 by Subdeacon Joe 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted September 20, 2023 Share Posted September 20, 2023 (edited) That didn't work Edited September 20, 2023 by Alpo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted September 20, 2023 Share Posted September 20, 2023 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 20, 2023 Author Share Posted September 20, 2023 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 21, 2023 Author Share Posted September 21, 2023 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 1 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 22, 2023 Author Share Posted September 22, 2023 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted September 22, 2023 Share Posted September 22, 2023 A man enters a cafe and sits at a table. A waitress asks for his order. “One coffee, please, without cream,” he replies. The waitress responds, “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to take it without milk; we haven’t any cream”. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted September 22, 2023 Share Posted September 22, 2023 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted September 22, 2023 Share Posted September 22, 2023 1 hour ago, Alpo said: I think Spock would say “Indeed”. 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted September 22, 2023 Share Posted September 22, 2023 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted September 22, 2023 Share Posted September 22, 2023 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted September 22, 2023 Share Posted September 22, 2023 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 23, 2023 Author Share Posted September 23, 2023 7 hours ago, Alpo said: The United Society of Believers in Christ’s Second Appearing was a very odd sect. But it was the most successful of the Utopian societies/sects from the 18th and 19th centuries. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted September 23, 2023 Share Posted September 23, 2023 On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter arrived, they asked him if they could get married in Heaven. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left. The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? "What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?" Yet another month passed before St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?! 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted September 23, 2023 Share Posted September 23, 2023 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 23, 2023 Author Share Posted September 23, 2023 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 23, 2023 Author Share Posted September 23, 2023 https://www.facebook.com/reel/334240198979355?mibextid=9drbnH 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 23, 2023 Author Share Posted September 23, 2023 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted September 23, 2023 Share Posted September 23, 2023 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted September 23, 2023 Share Posted September 23, 2023 7 minutes ago, DocWard said: Looks like he burned his feet off all the way up to his butt. 1 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted September 23, 2023 Share Posted September 23, 2023 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 23, 2023 Author Share Posted September 23, 2023 1 hour ago, Alpo said: Looks like he burned his feet off all the way up to his butt. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted September 23, 2023 Share Posted September 23, 2023 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted September 24, 2023 Share Posted September 24, 2023 A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker said to them: "You can have her shipped home for five thousand dollars or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for one hundred and fifty dollars". The man thought about it and told him to just have her shipped home. The undertaker asks: "Why would you spend 5000 dollars to ship your mother-in-law home when it would be wonderful to have her buried here with only 150 dollars". The man replied: "A man died here two thousand years ago, he was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance 1 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted September 24, 2023 Share Posted September 24, 2023 2 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted September 24, 2023 Share Posted September 24, 2023 8 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: ....... he's lucky it wasn't Double Ds ....... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sassycombo Posted September 24, 2023 Share Posted September 24, 2023 (edited) Hey y’all Found this one's for all my fellow sharpshooters here. Why did the cowboy bring a pencil to the gunfight? Because he wanted to draw! I hope this one tickles your funny bone a bit. Keep the laughter rollin’ and the barrels hot! Happy Trails, Partners! Edited October 3, 2023 by Sassycombo 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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