The Aussie Humour Thread

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[John Kloehr]

29 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Complete aside, this tape was developed for use in auto manufacturing as a paint masking tape. It did not do well at all for that purpose. It was very inexpensive compared to true paint masking tape.

 

The name came from the insult delivered to the tape maker: "Get this crap 'Scotch' tape out of here!" "Scotch" was at the time associated with "cheap."

 

Do not know if this story is true, but it is handy for small paper tape-ups.

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

3 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

Ol' Lefty! 

[Buckshot Bear]

52 minutes ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said:

 

Ol' Lefty! 

 

Stumpy is about as tough as it gets.

At going on to twenty feet long, estimated to be at least in his 80’s, Stumpy dates back to the early days of the 1960’s when he was already a mature male patrolling the river.

Over the years, he has had his run ins with other males which has left him with only one intact leg, but despite that he maintains his dominant status and territory. A particularly nasty incident with the late, great Croc Trevor ended with Trevor parading up and down the river with one of Stumpy’s legs hanging from his mouth. Yet Stumpy still maintained his territory.

Wokeye, Stumpy’s neighbour to the south, attempts to take on the Old Boy every few months, but despite being the older of the pair, Stumpy has always prevailed.

Even with all his scars and missing limbs, Stumpy is the picture of a healthy, wild crocodile, still regularly growing new teeth to show that he is self sufficient and able to hunt on his own. Anybody who has had the pleasure of meeting him comes away with a new appreciation of these creatures.

He also loves a good neck scratch with the feeding pole

[Buckshot Bear]

I don't care about the 95 year old.....but I wanna' kick the $^&$ out of the kids badly.

 

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

 

                                                                                      ..... Peter would be proud of you, ...

                                                                                             .... I know I am .....  🙃

[Sedalia Dave]

Stolen from fb

 

15 Interesting Facts You May Not Know About Australia

1. Australia is the only country in the world that is also a continent, and it is the sixth-largest country by land area.

2. The Great Barrier Reef, located off the coast of Queensland, is the largest living structure on Earth and can be seen from space.

3. Australia is home to the world’s deadliest animal, the box jellyfish, whose sting can cause heart failure and death within minutes.

4. The country is known for its unique wildlife, including the platypus, one of the few mammals that lay eggs, and the kangaroo, which can’t walk backwards.

5. The Outback, the vast and remote interior of Australia, is one of the most sparsely populated areas in the world, with huge stretches of desert and iconic red rock formations.

6. Australia’s national symbol, the emu, is the second-largest bird in the world, capable of running at speeds of up to 50 km/h (31 mph).

7. Australia has 19 UNESCO World Heritage Sites, including the Tasmanian Wilderness, Uluru, and the Sydney Opera House.

8. Australia is home to some of the oldest living organisms on the planet, such as the 5,000-year-old Clonal Trees of the Gondwana Rainforests.

9. The world’s longest fence, known as the Dingo Fence, stretches for over 5,600 kilometers (3,480 miles) and was originally built to keep wild dogs away from fertile farmland.

10. Sydney’s iconic Opera House is not just an architectural marvel; it has over 1,500 rooms and hosts more than 1,500 performances each year.

11. The Australian Alps receive more snow than Switzerland each year, making them a hidden gem for winter sports enthusiasts.

12. The country boasts some of the world’s most poisonous creatures, including the inland taipan, which is the deadliest snake, and the stonefish, which can cause severe venomous injuries.

13. Australia is the birthplace of surfing, and its beaches, like Bondi Beach, are world-renowned for their perfect waves.

14. Australia is one of the world’s leading producers of opals, and the town of Coober Pedy is famous for its underground homes built to escape the extreme heat.

15. Australia was once part of the supercontinent Gondwana and is home to some of the oldest rocks on Earth, found in places like the Yilgarn Craton.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

32 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 

11. The Australian Alps receive more snow than Switzerland each year, making them a hidden gem for winter sports enthusiasts.

Having been therein winter, I had to do some checking…. (Facebook isn’t known for truisms )

 

not even two inches but…

 

Quote

The Australian Alps get more snow than the Swiss Alps! Around 1cm of fresh snowfall hits the Swiss Alps each year and the Australian Alps receive about 4cm

 

[Alpo]

Number four says the kangaroo cannot walk backwards.

 

Can he walk frontwards?

 

Every time I've ever seen a kangaroo moving - in video of course - they have been hopping. They have not been walking. Do kangaroos walk - left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, - walk?

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

3 hours ago, Alpo said:

Number four says the kangaroo cannot walk backwards.

 

Can he walk frontwards?

 

Every time I've ever seen a kangaroo moving - in video of course - they have been hopping. They have not been walking. Do kangaroos walk - left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, - walk?

 

 

no

 

 

 

 

but they can't "move " backwards either.

 

🙃

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

DROVERS - 1875

NSW Border.

Group of Drovers on their Horses in the Gondiwindi Area.

 

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

For @Eyesa Horg Giant Cockroach 

 

[Alpo]

Neener neener. It's not just big. People live in it.

 

[Eyesa Horg]

1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

For @Eyesa Horg Giant Cockroach 

 

That's pretty cool actually!

[Rip Snorter]

17 minutes ago, Alpo said:

Neener neener. It's not just big. People live in it.

 

Do they have to shell out when they leave?  Or turn turtle?

[Buckshot Bear]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

Neener neener. It's not just big. People live in it.

 

 

And I raise you - The Giant Prawn

 

[Rip Snorter]

1 minute ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

And I raise you - The Giant Prawn

 

Not a shrimp, for sure!

[Sedalia Dave]

2 hours ago, Alpo said:

Neener neener. It's not just big. People live in it.

 

 

Except it's not a house and it's not in OZ. It's a restaurant and bar if the Bayanzag Tourist Camp. The camp is located in the Gobi Desert near a large collection of fossils in Mongolia.

 

That said it looks like something that you'd find in OZ and not the Gobi Desert

 

Big Turtle House

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

19 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

And I raise you - The Giant Prawn

 

Not a prawn either, too many legs.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

[Buckshot Bear]

1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Not a prawn either, too many legs.

 

Looks anatomically correct to me. 

 

Edited March 7 by Buckshot Bear

[Buckshot Bear]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

Looks anatomically correct to me. 

 

Descriptions I have read said decapod with three pairs of claws (shrimp have one pair of claws.). No?

[Buckshot Bear]

2 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Descriptions I have read said decapod with three pairs of claws (shrimp have one pair of claws.). No?

 

Its a prawn to me.

[Buckshot Bear]

Bruce the Aussie builder was going through a house he had just built for the woman who owned it. She was telling him what colour to paint each room. They went into the first room and she said "I want this room to be painted a light blue."

The builder went to the front door and yelled, "GREEN SIDE UP!"  When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be bright red. The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

 When he came back, the woman said "I keep telling you colours, but you go out the front and yell 'green side up' - what is that for?" The builder said, "Don't worry about that, I've just got a couple of Kiwis laying the turf out front."

[Buckshot Bear]

[Sedalia Dave]

 

 

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]