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The Aussie Humour Thread


Buckshot Bear

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20 minutes ago, Alpo said:

If, instead of slicing it on the top and squirting in the cream filling, they poke the nozzle in the side and filled it up with cream filling, it would be a cream filled donut.

 

cream-fill-donuts-1.jpg

 

I prefer Bavarian cream myself, to whatever this white stuff is in the picture.

 

 

These are the primo kind -

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitchener_bun

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40 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

425449838_3653152474962600_1390258388942136785_n.jpg.7e17ffcab35ace287592bb82b6aecd56.jpg

 

Wonder how many read that sign and still wind up needing to be rescued?

 

Years ago when I was stationed as NAS Fallon NV, an Army private trying to get somewhere around Christmas but couldn't because a blizzard had all the regular roads over the mountains closed. Decided to ignore all the road closure signs and tried to cross the Sierra Nevadas using backroads and logging trails.  Wound up lost and stuck way off the beaten path. Had his wife and infant child with him.  He left them in a snow cave and managed to eventually stumble upon help.  Search and Rescue recovered his wife and child.  News media played him up as a hero for finding shelter for his family. In reality he should have been courts martialed for being a dumbass. 

 

 

Edited by Sedalia Dave
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2 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

426582158_701474358798070_5364898839662405119_n.jpg.f0773dcd6057db1b08111fe5b9e4ceb2.jpg

Not ashamed to say I prefer YOUR version to OURS!

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I have drunk ginger ALE, off and on, my entire life. Some was stronger than others - had more of a bite. But it was all good.

 

In the "imported" section of a grocery store one time I found some ginger BEER, from England. I did not like that at all.

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LUNCH IN THE BUSH - Warwick -1893
A man and woman stopping for a meal and a billy of tea. The horses have been unhitched from the double buggy.
The double buggy was advertised as 'a must for squatters' as it was admirably adapted to travelling over huge logs and rutted ground. Travel in Australia during the late 1800s would have been very difficult.
 
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AUSSIE LT ‘DIVER’ DERRICK - said ‘Bugger The CO’ And Captured A Japanese Position.
by Jim Rowley.
Sometimes doing what’s right isn’t in line with orders.
The 2/48th Battalion of the Australian 9th Infantry division was Australia's most decorated unit that served in WWII, and Lt. Thomas "Diver" Derrick was one of the battalion's most decorated and beloved soldiers.
Derrick's best-known accomplishment came during the Battle of Sattelberg in New Guinea in November 1943.
The 2/48th participated in the fight, but after a week of fighting their progress stalled and Derrick's commanding officer ordered a retreat. Derrick was quoted as saying, "Bugger the CO, just give me 20 minutes and we'll have this place."
Derrick advanced on multiple Japanese machine gun positions, uphill through the jungle, while under covering fire from his squadmates. And he did it by himself.
Altogether, Derrick cleared out 10 enemy positions, helping his unit accomplish their objective and receiving the Victoria Cross for his efforts.
Unfortunately, Derrick perished late in the war, suffering grievous injuries at the Battle of Tarakan in May 1945 and succumbing the next day.
 
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1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

The Big Oyster in Taree where @Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 hails from -

 

image.thumb.png.693e2306a7c79c442332137940d2d05c.png

And yet it's shaped like a scallop!;)

Edited by Eyesa Horg
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6 minutes ago, Alpo said:

So says someone who has never been blessed enough to have eaten oysters out of Appalachicola Bay.

 

They might be great....but they ain't Sydney Rock Oysters.

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4 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

The Big Oyster in Taree where @Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 hails from -

 

image.thumb.png.693e2306a7c79c442332137940d2d05c.png

 

 'Tis our local FORD, NISSAN, ISUZU, etc dealerships ........

 

   ....... it was built as a tourist trapERRRRRR attraction  ...... (and failed) ........

 

        ...... the 2004 Nissan Patrol that I drive was purchased from there  :)

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20 hours ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

 

    ...... don't knock it 'til you try it;  ........... or we'll put pineapple on your pizzas .....  :ph34r:

tried it….. deserves to be knocked….. thanks for the pineapple! :D

Regards

:FlagAm:  :FlagAm:  :FlagAm:
Gateway Kid

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN IF:
* You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
* You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.
* You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.
* You believe the 'L' in the word 'Australia' is optional.
* You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'
* You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns, and sheep.
* You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
* You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
* You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
* You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy.'
* You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You've also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
* You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
* Beetroot with your Hamburger... Of course.
* You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again' and "Living next door to Alice."
* You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
* You believe that the more you shorten someone's name, the more you like them.
* Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
* You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is always polite.
* You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
* You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
* Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
* You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies.'
* You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours.'
* When working in a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
* You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo, etc.
* You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere... no matter where you actually are.
* You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer because it tastes like sh*t. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.
* You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.
* You've only ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you REALLY mean it.
* You know that the barbecue is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the Salad.
* You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realize it or not.
* You understand what no wucking furries means.
* You've drunk your tea/coffee/milo through a Tim Tam.
* You own a Bond's chesty. In several different colors.
* You know that roo meat tastes pretty good. But not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.
* You know that some people pronounce Australia like "Straya" and that's ok.
 
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