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Image may contain: text that says 'TOUCH MY COFEEE I WILL SLAP YOU,SO HARD EVEN GOOGLE WON'T BE ABLE TO FIND YOU'

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Image may contain: one or more people, text that says 'Stephen King trying to come up with crazier storylines than real life in 2020 @HIG HIG NEHAELS IX'

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1.png

Edited by Charlie T Waite
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Cowboy saddles.gif

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I HATE it when this happens~!  :lol:

 

Garfield Classics Comic Strip for November 29, 2020
 
 
 

 

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A post on the memes thread reminded me of this. I thought you'd find it funny.

Sacramento Barbie:

This princess Barbie is only sold Nordstrom or the Pavilions. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

Folsom Barbie:
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.

West Sac Barbie:
This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably in small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

East Sac Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Volvo wagon.. Included are a Starbucks travel cup, credit cards, French pedicure and exclusive gym membership. Also available for this set are Real Estate Magnate Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Amador County Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Granite Bay Barbie:
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini, Jimmy Choo slides and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at her custom, 12,000 sq. ft. house. Shallow Ken can be found in the cabana making out with Jail Bait Skipper. Percocet prescription recommended.

Rio Linda Barbie:
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Elverta Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.


Davis Barbie:
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Davis Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker free.

South Sac Barbie:
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Rancho Murieta Barbie:
With frosted blonde hair and a French manicure, she's perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is because he's always away hunting or golfing.

San Francisco Barbie/Ken:
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts.

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7 hours ago, Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217 said:

A post on the memes thread reminded me of this. I thought you'd find it funny.

Sacramento Barbie:

This princess Barbie is only sold Nordstrom or the Pavilions. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

Folsom Barbie:
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.

West Sac Barbie:
This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably in small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

East Sac Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Volvo wagon.. Included are a Starbucks travel cup, credit cards, French pedicure and exclusive gym membership. Also available for this set are Real Estate Magnate Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Amador County Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Granite Bay Barbie:
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini, Jimmy Choo slides and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at her custom, 12,000 sq. ft. house. Shallow Ken can be found in the cabana making out with Jail Bait Skipper. Percocet prescription recommended.

Rio Linda Barbie:
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Elverta Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.


Davis Barbie:
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Davis Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker free.

South Sac Barbie:
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Rancho Murieta Barbie:
With frosted blonde hair and a French manicure, she's perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is because he's always away hunting or golfing.

San Francisco Barbie/Ken:
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts.

it is a joke but parts of this are soo true 

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Image may contain: text that says 'Feels like we're all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.'

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Image may contain: 1 person, meme, text that says 'IF THE FOOD RUNS OUT OUT... we STILL HAVE EACH OTHER'

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30 minutes ago, Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217 said:

Some things never change. I saved it to my PC in 2009.

I lived in FairOaks in the 1980s  it was true then tooooo 

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Image may contain: one or more people, text that says 'try my best to shop for Christmas presents then| see something and think you know who would like that?? Me'

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The Real Circle of Life

 

Image may contain: one or more people, text that says 'Is afraid of Is afraid of Is afraid of Is afraid of Is afraid of Is afraid of'

Edited by Charlie T Waite
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image.png

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Image may contain: text that says 'MOST PEOPLE DON'T THINK I'M AS OLD AS I AM UNTIL THEY HEAR ME STAND UP'

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Image may contain: text that says 'Apparently putting Alka Seltzer in my mouth, walking into Speedway and shouting the virus has mutated is not funny.|'

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funny cartoon.jpg

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... and once again, dear friends, we find a fine, high-velocity spray of coffee makes a fine screen cleaner ...

... thank you one and all, and especially ... oh, hell, all of you, I laughed better at today's reading of this thread than I have in a very long time, and that laugh was well and truly needed!

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4 hours ago, Dirty Dog Doug said:

I lived in FairOaks in the 1980s  it was true then tooooo 

We lived in Sacramento from 1973 to 2008 with no change from the joke. Then, we moved to Amador county and I have or do none of the following:

  • Wrangler jeans two sizes too small (that I would wear)
  • NASCAR shirt (I do have a personalized NHRA Mopar jacket)
  • tattoos
  • bleah Coors Light
  • maybe Hank Williams, Jr.
  • not telling if I can spit over 5 feet (never tried)
  • don't know a mullet-haired Ken (Hubby never had a mullet and his name isn't Ken)
  • would never get drunk ;)
  • have no bumper stickers
  • only drive the pickup truck when I go to annual shooting matches

Excuse me if this isn't grammatically correct as I'm trying to commune with my inner Amador Barbie.

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On 12/1/2020 at 7:51 AM, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

104281104_3206694252716747_8426338697774940263_n.jpg

 

I used to tell my ex it was payback for her using one of my good screwdrivers as a pry tool.

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36 minutes ago, Sixgun Sheridan said:

I used to tell my ex it was payback for her using one of my good screwdrivers as a pry tool.

 

Mine uses my pocket knives! I have found a few with broken tips!:angry: I now ground them off to a flat edge so she can use them as a screwdriver!

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Image may contain: 1 person, meme, text that says '1 FEEL FINE THE VACCINE DID'NT EVEN HURT'

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7 hours ago, Sixgun Sheridan said:

 

I used to tell my ex it was payback for her using one of my good screwdrivers as a pry tool.

 

I used to find mine in the garden, where the Former Missus Hardpan would use them as stakes for plant ties.   :huh:

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7 hours ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said:

 

Mine uses my pocket knives! I have found a few with broken tips!:angry: I now ground them off to a flat edge so she can use them as a screwdriver!

 

So Sassparilla Kid has given his Ma (the Former Missus Hardpan) a set of Japanese kitchen knives (Miyabi Hibana?) 

 

Evidently, she managed to mangle the tip of one* of 'em...  "Ma!  Don't you know that these are hand crafted by a little old Japanese Master Bladesmith in a hut working over a hot forge while wearing a diaper??"  :o

 

*The Kid repaired it by carefully re-grinding the tip with stones. 

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No photo description available.  Image may contain: one or more people, text that says 'COWBOY WISDOM: -SUMMIT BRADY, WEST TEXASPHILOSOPHER- Bad decisions can make some mighty good stories..'

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