Gunner Gatlin, SASS 10274L Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast isclear.' SECOND DEGREE Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' So, the first blonde hands her the compact. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!' THIRD DEGREE A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!' The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!' FOURTH DEGREE A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.' A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?' The blonde replies,'Oh, that's easy .. it's W.' FIFTH DEGREE Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? A: 'Is it mine?' SIXTH DEGREE Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware ..' SEVENTH DEGREE Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!' <b><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;"></b> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curley Fryes Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Very good! Added all to my list! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hacker, SASS #55963 Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Gunner, do have a blond wife by any chance, These must have come from experience. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uno Mas SASS #80082 Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 i tAKE gREAT oFFENSE tO tHOSE rEMARKS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunner Gatlin, SASS 10274L Posted April 17, 2012 Author Share Posted April 17, 2012 Gunner, do have a blond wife by any chance, These must have come from experience. :lol: I do.... GG ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hacker, SASS #55963 Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 i tAKE gREAT oFFENSE tO tHOSE rEMARKS! Does this mean that you are blond too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodo Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 I have three blond sisters, and one brunette sister that claims she have blond roots. Let met tell you they are true blonds in everyway possible. The stories I could tell you thru the years would burn your ears. I could spend days on what they've done and said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodo Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 That one with the blond that was going to have a baby. My sister did that. I couldn't be leave my ears when I heard it. My wife and I looked at each other, and wondered what the heck? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Complicated Lady Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Well guys laugh all you want... but I'd still rather be a blonde You ever met a blonde that wished she wasn't?? That should tell you something. Blondes DO have more fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Pony Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Gunner I'll cancel the bullet order, just let me know which hospital to send the flowers to and when you'll be out of intensive care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunner Gatlin, SASS 10274L Posted April 17, 2012 Author Share Posted April 17, 2012 LOL! Iron Pony...don't cancel the order. My wife approves of this message. I was a blond once meownself...but alas, me hair is gettin' less by the years. GG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pulp, SASS#28319 Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 What is the one thing a blond has while in a roomful of brunettes? Complicated Lady probably already knows this. The attention of all the men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Professor Tull, SASS #66742 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 GG, ALL were good ! ! ! "6th Degree" was SPECTACULAR Tull Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rye Miles #13621 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 Well guys laugh all you want... but I'd still rather be a blonde You ever met a blonde that wished she wasn't?? That should tell you something. Blondes DO have more fun Lady, know why blonde jokes are so stupid???? So everyone else can understand them!!!! LOL Gentlemen prefer blonds, so I must be a gentleman!! Rye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Bullweed Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 We can keep this going... A blond wearing a walkman (yep, dating this joke) walks into a beauty salon. She sits in the chair and tells the beautician "Just a trim please, but the walkman has to stay in place". The beautician agrees and starts to work. A couple minutes later and this beautician is frustated with this walkman. She jerks the earphones out of the girl's ears. The girl immediately falls out of the chair stone dead! The beautician picks up the earphone and listens in to hear "breathe in - breathe out - breathe in...." (This is nowhere near as funny as the Roe vs Wade.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Ranger Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 Ya ever see a corn maze for blonds? It's just one stalk :lol: http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y283/gunclickrick/corn-maze-for-blondes2.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Kris Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 i tAKE gREAT oFFENSE tO tHOSE rEMARKS! Does this mean that you are blond too? Yes we are blond too. However, I'm turning white for all my trouble. {At least I have it to.......} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mean Matt McCord, SASS #24683 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 What is the one thing a blond has while in a roomful of brunettes? Complicated Lady probably already knows this. The attention of all the men. Now, hold on a minute, Pulp. That all depends on the rest of her attributes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Complicated Lady Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I'm gonna tell one on myself..... Back when I was in high school, I got my first car. I wanted a cute license plate frame. I went to the mall to have one made. I handed the guy a piece of paper that said what I wanted printed on the frame. It said... Gentlemen Perfer Blondes He spelled it exactly the way I had written it. I had to tell everyone that I had done that on purpose to make fun of the whole "dumb blonde" thing. NO HE was not blonde Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 Well guys laugh all you want... but I'd still rather be a blonde You ever met a blonde that wished she wasn't?? That should tell you something. Blondes DO have more fun Actually I have, she dyes her hair red. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooting Bull Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 What do you call in INTELLIGENT blonde? A Golden Retriever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Do you know how to keep a blond in suspense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Complicated Lady Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Do you know how to keep a blond in suspense? I know! I know!! How do you keep a cowboy in suspense? I'll tell ya later.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uno Mas SASS #80082 Posted April 22, 2012 Share Posted April 22, 2012 Does this mean that you are blond too? How'd yah guess??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Ranger Posted April 22, 2012 Share Posted April 22, 2012 Try being married to a blond that swallowed draino once! DRAINO MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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