Jump to content
SASS Wire Forum

Snoring on the Range


Recommended Posts

I reckon that after a long day punching cows that most cowboys could sleep thru it. I could be wrong. I snore loud, or did until the doc put me on a CPAP machine, and I've had shoes thrown at me, been moved into a different room, etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ole Apnia Al

Being A Cautionary Tale of the Dangers of Snoring on the Drive

 

Ole Apnia Al was a heck of a pal and a heck of a cowboy to boot

He could ride with the best, a true man of the West, he could rope, brand, and boy could he shoot

 

I remember the time we was near Clementine, a small railhead up north of nowhere

We had bedded the herd and I was assured that the town would be fun if we'd go there

 

Well me and ole Slim had a few shots of Gin and wandered on back with the drovers

When we got to the camp, the weather was damp and the pollen was thick from the clovers

 

This sign boded no good, for Slim had him a hood that he wore when conditions were bad

It kept him from snorin like a volcano roarin, yup that hood was the best thing he had

 

But alas we found out with a moan and a shout that Billy (who was always the joker)

Had purloined Slim's hood, thinkin it was no good, and lost it in town playin poker

 

We sent Billy on back through the Montana black to try and win back Slim's protection

Mean while we scrambled while Slim cried and rambled "We're doomed if I go sleep's direction"

 

"The cattle will run like they's shot from a gun onct they hear my snortin and sawin"

"They might stomp us to death, we done breathed our last breath!" He commenced to start caterwaulin

 

Well I sat up all night and it sure was a sight as I pinched Slim's nose shut with fence pliers

He eventually dozed off with nary a cough as I sat grumbling loud by the fire

 

At the sun's rosy dawn young Bill came along with Slim's hood that he'd won back at last

We ate us some food in the foulest of moods as ole Slim packed his gear up real fast

 

He packed up his hood and his bedroll real good and said "Boy's this just ain't my life"

"This snorin's a beast, think I'll head on back East and find me a rich but deaf wife"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have been known to snore chickens out of the chicken coop which got me to thinking. How do you think drovers dealt with heavy snorers? Will snoring spook the cattle to a stampede?

The truth is cattle love snoring.. it is a sort of white noise to them.. lol.. For me it means earplugs and a white noise machine.. lol.. Each to their own, huh?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

TPP:

 

See your doc and ask to be checked out for sleep apnea (heavy snoring is often an indicator). It's no joke; I had a series of seizures until they found the problem. Doc put me on a CPAP (my wife loved the quiet), and 3 years later (and nearly 100 lbs lighter) I was able to stop using it without returning to snoring. But get checked out.

 

LL

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Double L,

 

I am attach to that wonderful CPAP machine every sleeping hour. My deal is when I travel. I am afraid 1) I am scaring airline passengers and 2) might get shot in a hotel room just like Hardin did to the poor fellow in the next room.

 

I bought one of them high dollar mouth guard the other day. Once I opened the box it is nothing but a regular sports mouthguard I can get from Wally World. It is back in the box and going back to the store.

 

TPP

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have graduated from a CPAP to a BIPAP machine. Bi has more pressure. Cpap broke and they would not replace it with out a second test. That's when I got the BIPAP. TSA only glances at them. Not like when I went to the Convention in 2010. Got hand searched in Richmond Va & Las Vegas.

 

Shenny

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Awww, just give the snorer a peck on the neck and a pat on the backside while saying "Nighty night". :blink:

 

He won't snore at all. Of course he probably won't sleep either. :)

 

Safe trails,

C(Manhood secure)Kid

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well as Deja said, snorin comforts cattle much like white noise. Both are easly put in da back of da mind....man or cow !!! :D

 

 

My kids said I'd rattle da windows, sometimes breakin; dem !! :blush:

 

Don't think dats really true cuz I head it by now . :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.