Maurice Mo Lassess, SASS #65309L Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I have started a group (in name only, no dues, no membership cards, etc.) to counteract those smarties in WWPAS (pronounced Whoopass), the Wild West Performing Arts Society, who shoot, rope, ride, crack whips and throw knifes. For those of us who can't crack a knuckle, much less a whip, whose dealing with knives are best left to cutting our steaks, or who see their guns flying off into the distance when we try a reverse spin into the holster, or who find themselves tangled up in a rope when they try an overhead spin, well....step right up and join your fellow klutzes. Yes folks, there is now a group for us klutzes, those who are inept and just plain clumsy. If you can't joim WWPAS, join the Kluztzy, Inept, Clumsy Kowboys of the Single Action Shooting Society, (KICKSASS). Now, when ya send in your application, use the self sealing envelopes so ya don't get a paper cut on your tongue from licking the envelope. And, be sure to use the round nosed scissors so ya don't stab yourself when you cut out the application form and for God's sake DON'T RUN with them scissors. And use a pen- with your luck, you would break a tip off of a pencil and get lead poisining or something. With enough people signing up, we can KICKSASS on those WWPAS boys in no time!!! (With apologies to my pards Buck Montgomery and Hotshot Johnny Tuscadero and the gang at WWPAS- true professionals at their craft. Now, if they could only loosen up some and have fun!!!) I am now taking reqests for numbers. 1- Maurice 'Mo' Lasses 2- Grizzly Dave 3- Badger Mountain Charlie 4- Wallaby Jack 5- Long Branch Louie 6- Major E A Sterner 7- Ziggady Zag 8- Red Logan 9- Spanish Bit Bob 10- Mace Bishop 11- Pit Bull Tex 12- Flashpowder Hal 13-Tanner Hyde 14- Hardmouth 15- Dr. Buck Montgomery, WWPAS Trail boss, honoray member. 16- Grumpy Old Man 17- Titus A. Gnatsass 18- Allie Mo, no e dammit 19- Fannie Kicker 20- Henry Horns 21- Cobra Kid 22- Big Jake 23- Boss Hoss Fly, the guy with not enough room on his signature line to join... 24- Kid Kneestone 25- Copper Mart 26- Okie Sawbones 27- Merry Meg 28- Buffalojack 29- San Fernando Slim 30- Deja Vous 31- Flinthills Dog 32- Chickasaw Bill 33- Mosey West 34- Irish Tom 35- Apache Hawk 36- Chili Pepper Kid, a real WHIPper snapper of a fellow 37- Apache Hawk 38- Hazel Belle, with my apologies for missing #32 for her.... 39- Caliope Cupcake, forever 39 40- Forty Rod 41- Back Forty 42- Oklahomabound 43- Badeyebob 44- Blackwater Desperado 45- Rusty Gunn . . 55- G.P. Cobb 56 57- Hugh Damwright 58 59 60- Stiff Finger Jim 61 62 63 64 65 66- Texas LawDog 67 68 69- Rob Detroit . 77- Yellowhouse Sam 78 . 86- Wimpy Hank Yoho (not to be confusalated with wailing Yoko Ono) . 98 99- Just Ed 100- Katastrophe Kate, whose name fits her to a T! 101.- Sneaky Gun Runner . . 151- That Masked Man 665- Wild Will Bartell ..........................................etc. . . 911-Yul Catchum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Branch Louie Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I'll take #5, I qualify on several levels.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major E A Sterner #12916 Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 Mo, I'd be honored if you would let me join your group. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggady Zag, SASS #67251 Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 Mo, please let me in the club... I would love to be in the top ten of something... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maurice Mo Lassess, SASS #65309L Posted November 18, 2010 Author Share Posted November 18, 2010 We are growing by leaps and bounds..... Wait, leaping and bounding may not be for us. Let's say we are all just real KICKSASS type of fellows! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Logan #12252 Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I would be honored if ya will let me in also Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spanish Bit Bobb Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 ooh, ooh pick me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flinthills Dawg Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I do believe I would fit in just fine iffin you give a fellar a chance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 #40...naturally! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pit Bull Tex Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 Would you take an old dog. Pit Bull Tex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashpowder Hal Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 Anybody thet's watched me "run" through a stage, will know I belong Sign me up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swifty Morgan Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I'm in! That's just my game! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BUFFALOJACK, Jennings, #79659 Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I'll take #28 cuz that's my birthday! BUFFALOJACK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I have started a group (in name only, no dues, no membership cards, etc.) to counteract those smarties in WWPAS (pronounced Whoopass), the Wild West Performing Arts Society, who shoot, rope, ride, crack whips and throw knifes. For those of us who can't crack a knuckle, much less a whip, whose dealing with knives are best left to cutting our steaks, or who see their guns flying off into the distance when we try a reverse spin into the holster, or who find themselves tangled up in a rope when they try an overhead spin, well....step right up and join your fellow klutzes. Yes folks, there is now a group for us klutzes, those who are inept and just plain clumsy. If you can't joim WWPAS, join the Kluztzy, Inept, Clumsy Kowboys of the Single Action Shooting Society, (KICKSASS). Now, when ya send in your application, use the self sealing envelopes so ya don't get a paper cut on your tongue from licking the envelope. And, be sure to use the round nosed scissors so ya don't stab yourself when you cut out the application form and for God's sake DON'T RUN with them scissors. And use a pen- with your luck, you would break a tip off of a pencil and get lead poisining or something. With enough people signing up, we can KICKSASS on those WWPAS boys in no time!!! (With apologies to my pards Buck Montgomery and Hotshot Johnny Tuscadero and the gang at WWPAS- true professionals at their craft. Now, if they could only loosen up some and have fun!!!) I am now taking reqests for numbers. 1- Maurice 'Mo' Lasses 2- Grizzly Dave 3- Badger Mountain Charlie 4-Wallaby Jack 5- Long Branch Louie 6- Major E A Sterner 7- Ziggady Zag 8- Red Logan 9- Spanish Bit Bob 10- Flinthills Dog 11- Pit Bull Tex 12- Flashpowder Hal 13-Tanner Hyde 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28- Buffalojack 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40- Forty Rod Oh, man cuz I can totally make a mess I need to join up right away.. lol.. Make me number 30 the age I was when I first got married .. It sits in my mind a lot.. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hard Mouth, SASS #60280 Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I'm in, please. Cain't ride a unicycle, hit a curveball, any a them that need talent and coordination. Fair at tyin' my shoes,,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maurice Mo Lassess, SASS #65309L Posted November 18, 2010 Author Share Posted November 18, 2010 I'm in, please. Cain't ride a unicycle, hit a curveball, any a them that need talent and coordination. Fair at tyin' my shoes,,,, Can ya share your secret for tying shoes? I still am having problems with mine. Go bare foot a lot but snow is coming soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maurice Mo Lassess, SASS #65309L Posted November 18, 2010 Author Share Posted November 18, 2010 Well, guys and gals, we got them shaking in their boots for sure now. Why, Dr. Buck Montgomery, the ever so modest and infamous (that's how he spelt it, I thought it should be un-famous) Trail Boss for them fancy spinning, straight shooting, whip cracking Hollywood style stunt guys of WWPAS wanted to be included in our group. So, against my better judgement and with great reluctance, I have given him an honorary membership. Next thing ya know, that Johnny feller will be barking up for us to let HIM in too! Geesh! Did I mention that the only dues paying folks we are going to have in this group are the honorary ones? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 Can ya share your secret for tying shoes? I still am having problems with mine. Go bare foot a lot but snow is coming soon. ................. velcro ! ..... (an' have someone else actually do 'em up ... ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 Well, guys and gals, we got them shaking in their boots for sure now. Why, Dr. Buck Montgomery, the ever so modest and infamous (that's how he spelt it, I thought it should be un-famous) Trail Boss for them fancy spinning, straight shooting, whip cracking Hollywood style stunt guys of WWPAS wanted to be included in our group. So, against my better judgement and with great reluctance, I have given him an honorary membership. Next thing ya know, that Johnny feller will be barking up for us to let HIM in too! Geesh! Did I mention that the only dues paying folks we are going to have in this group are the honorary ones? ....... he's not a spy ....... is he ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 ....... whotcha knoe ........ I made TOP 5 ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Henry Horns SASS #19579L Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 Since I was too slow & stuff to get in the top 10, How about #20? Henry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maurice Mo Lassess, SASS #65309L Posted November 18, 2010 Author Share Posted November 18, 2010 ....... he's not a spy ....... is he ? See, that's the bee-u-tee of it all.....we KNOW he is a spy, but him being a WWPAS guy, he doesn't know that we know he is, but we know that he doesn't know we know, ya know, so we are, as always, one up on those WWPAS guys. (Sounds kinda Festus Hagen like, don't it?!?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217 Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 Hi Cuz, May I be 18 or 86 please. Less numbers to remember as I have those numbers in other endeavors. Allie Mo PS Hubby hates to see me with a knife in my hand since I cut myself while cooking dinner and he had to finish it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 Hi Cuz, May I be 18 or 86 please. Less numbers to remember as I have those numbers in other endeavors. Allie Mo PS Hubby hates to see me with a knife in my hand since I cut myself while cooking dinner and he had to finish it. ..... he had to finish cuttin' you ... ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 See, that's the bee-u-tee of it all.....we KNOW he is a spy, but him being a WWPAS guy, he doesn't know that we know he is, but we know that he doesn't know we know, ya know, so we are, as always, one up on those WWPAS guys. (Sounds kinga Festus Hagen like, don't it?!?) ...............................I didn't know ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
San Fernando Slim, SASS #20521 Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 Howdy Mo, please accept me for membership. I should have number 29 because that has been my age for many years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Ed Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 When you get up to 99 I'll take it. Not going to be able to kick anything for a while had a knee replaced 3 weeks ago. Sure cuts into shooting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yul Catchum Posted November 18, 2010 Share Posted November 18, 2010 I work at 911 and use it on a regular basis (home repairs, y'know) so I would enjoy have membership number "911". And at first read I thought it read KISSASS so I immediately opened the thread only to discover....., well I still want to be a member. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maurice Mo Lassess, SASS #65309L Posted November 19, 2010 Author Share Posted November 19, 2010 I work at 911 and use it on a regular basis (home repairs, y'know) so I would enjoy have membership number "911". And at first read I thought it read KISSASS so I immediately opened the thread only to discover....., well I still want to be a member. Well, now I can tell those WWPAS boys that our numbers are up in the 900 range now!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maurice Mo Lassess, SASS #65309L Posted November 19, 2010 Author Share Posted November 19, 2010 Hi Cuz, May I be 18 or 86 please. Less numbers to remember as I have those numbers in other endeavors. Allie Mo PS Hubby hates to see me with a knife in my hand since I cut myself while cooking dinner and he had to finish it. I am using 18 for you cuz, 'cause that was the age you were when a met you a few years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 I am using 18 for you cuz, 'cause that was the age you were when a met you a few years ago. ........ you olde smoothy, you ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spanish Bit Bobb Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 ........ you olde smoothy, you ..... A silver tongue devil...maybe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 I donno boys. I walked into the local tavern last night and told them that I was from KICKASS and #3 and the next thing I knowed, I was out in the gutter with my hat all crushed and such. Did you know that you cud fly for a short distance of somebody grabbed yer belt and collar and heped ya with a lift off? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spanish Bit Bobb Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 Well Badger...sayin' KICKASS in a gay bar er funny kind establishment iz always gonna getcha in trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swifty Morgan Posted November 19, 2010 Share Posted November 19, 2010 Not when he be wearin his purple plume Bobb! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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