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The Aussie Humour Thread


Buckshot Bear
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3 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

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I like that y'all have a lot of John Deeres down under. Up here, I see way too many Kubotas and Mahindras farming American soil. Where are the International Harvesters, the little blue Ford tractors, and all of the other American-made farm equipment that I saw as a kid? More and more, the Bottom Line has turned out to be the wrong idol to chase, and it turns out that payback is a Bitch! Do you want white or fried rice with that?

 

Sorry for the rant. Things are just getting too strange up here. Koyaanisqatsi.

Thanks for the John Deere. Looks like a town that I would like!  :)

 

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21 hours ago, Brazos John said:

I like that y'all have a lot of John Deeres down under. Up here, I see way too many Kubotas and Mahindras farming American soil. Where are the International Harvesters, the little blue Ford tractors, and all of the other American-made farm equipment that I saw as a kid? More and more, the Bottom Line has turned out to be the wrong idol to chase, and it turns out that payback is a Bitch! Do you want white or fried rice with that?

 

Sorry for the rant. Things are just getting too strange up here. Koyaanisqatsi.

Thanks for the John Deere. Looks like a town that I would like!  :)

 

 

For @Brazos John

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=john+deere+australia&sxsrf=ALiCzsZFace9OX-mmJrgLxYW-weNiH8Kdw:1657756701764&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjBqNT6iPf4AhU0RXwKHeGoBJIQ_AUoAXoECAEQAw&biw=1920&bih=947&dpr=1

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1. Why did the H.R. hire the Australian animal for the job? He was koala-fied for the post.

2. Why do kangaroo mothers hate the rainy season? Because their joeys are stuck playing inside.

3. What will you call a lethargic joey? A pouch potato.

4. What did the Australian guy say to the koala? I understand your situation, but you need to bear your pain.

5. What would you call an unidentified object which landed in Australia? Australien.

6. What did the Australian guy reply when a tourist asked if he could see kangaroos on the roads? He replied, "Well, it depends on your eyesight, mate."

 

7. Where do kangaroos go when they are sick? To the hop-spittle.

8. Heard about the animal press conference which took place in Melbourne? It was about gender e'koala'ty.

9. What did the kangaroo say when she saw a newbie at the party? I have not met her'bivore.

10. What did the Aussie said to his friend who was joking about koala bears? Please stop; I can bear'ly handle any of the puns.

11. What's a nerdy koala bear's favorite element? Bear-ium.

12. Why was the koala bear feeling shy? She was feeling em'bear'rassed.

13. Where do Australian animals go for vacation? Koala Lumpur.

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2 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

1. Why did the H.R. hire the Australian animal for the job? He was koala-fied for the post.

2. Why do kangaroo mothers hate the rainy season? Because their joeys are stuck playing inside.

3. What will you call a lethargic joey? A pouch potato.

4. What did the Australian guy say to the koala? I understand your situation, but you need to bear your pain.

5. What would you call an unidentified object which landed in Australia? Australien.

6. What did the Australian guy reply when a tourist asked if he could see kangaroos on the roads? He replied, "Well, it depends on your eyesight, mate."

 

7. Where do kangaroos go when they are sick? To the hop-spittle.

8. Heard about the animal press conference which took place in Melbourne? It was about gender e'koala'ty.

9. What did the kangaroo say when she saw a newbie at the party? I have not met her'bivore.

10. What did the Aussie said to his friend who was joking about koala bears? Please stop; I can bear'ly handle any of the puns.

11. What's a nerdy koala bear's favorite element? Bear-ium.

12. Why was the koala bear feeling shy? She was feeling em'bear'rassed.

13. Where do Australian animals go for vacation? Koala Lumpur.

 

BooHiss1.jpeg.b090ecbdca2a099dd1a0772ba8ea937a.jpeg

 

:P

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4 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

1. Why did the H.R. hire the Australian animal for the job? He was koala-fied for the post.

2. Why do kangaroo mothers hate the rainy season? Because their joeys are stuck playing inside.

3. What will you call a lethargic joey? A pouch potato.

4. What did the Australian guy say to the koala? I understand your situation, but you need to bear your pain.

5. What would you call an unidentified object which landed in Australia? Australien.

6. What did the Australian guy reply when a tourist asked if he could see kangaroos on the roads? He replied, "Well, it depends on your eyesight, mate."

 

7. Where do kangaroos go when they are sick? To the hop-spittle.

8. Heard about the animal press conference which took place in Melbourne? It was about gender e'koala'ty.

9. What did the kangaroo say when she saw a newbie at the party? I have not met her'bivore.

10. What did the Aussie said to his friend who was joking about koala bears? Please stop; I can bear'ly handle any of the puns.

11. What's a nerdy koala bear's favorite element? Bear-ium.

12. Why was the koala bear feeling shy? She was feeling em'bear'rassed.

13. Where do Australian animals go for vacation? Koala Lumpur.

 

4 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 

BooHiss1.jpeg.b090ecbdca2a099dd1a0772ba8ea937a.jpeg

 

:P

^^^^^ ......... what he said ...... ^^^^^^^^

:blush:

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11 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

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So, what you're saying is that Australia is full of really talented artists- that live out in the middle of nowhere without much anything to do and have to be creative in order to express their artistic talents?

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4 hours ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

So, what you're saying is that Australia is full of really talented artists- that live out in the middle of nowhere without much anything to do and have to be creative in order to express their artistic talents?

 

Yep :) 

 

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035b7656ddc8c01b28307a7928f2454b.jpg.90eae207f68867e3e7d11f46bdda3ec2.jpg

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1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Pizza Hut circa 1970 ( I think they've all closed down in Australia now)

 

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  ....... 2 of the greater Holdens ever made: the brown car in the parking lot would have been quite new at the time, '69 Monaro, one of the very few 2door sports models the company produced.   And the white sedan in the foreground is a '63 EJ model, the forerunner to the GREATEST Holden of all time, ... the '64 EH model .......   :D

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22 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

 

  ....... 2 of the greater Holdens ever made: the brown car in the parking lot would have been quite new at the time, '69 Monaro, one of the very few 2door sports models the company produced.   And the white sedan in the foreground is a '63 EJ model, the forerunner to the GREATEST Holden of all time, ... the '64 EH model .......   :D

Blue one is a Torana I think.

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Aussies love horse racing. Here is a list of Aussie one-liners jokes about Australians and their immense love for this adventure sport.

 

62. Where did they take the sick horse? They took him to the horse-pital.

63. What is a horse racer's favorite television show? 'Neigh-bors'.

64. What is a common ailment among racing horses? Hay fever.

65. What happened to the pony who went to see the doctor? He was feeling a little hoarse.

66. Why did they say that racing horses have a negative attitude? They keep saying, neigh.

67. Have you heard about the horse racer who went on a horseback world tour? They call him a globe trotter.

68. What happened to the new horse riding club? The business kept falling.

69. Where did the newlywed horse racing couple stay? In the bridle suite.

70. Why was the horse racer standing behind the horse? Maybe he just wanted a kick out of it.

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52 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Aussies love horse racing. Here is a list of Aussie one-liners jokes about Australians and their immense love for this adventure sport.

 

62. Where did they take the sick horse? They took him to the horse-pital.

63. What is a horse racer's favorite television show? 'Neigh-bors'.

64. What is a common ailment among racing horses? Hay fever.

65. What happened to the pony who went to see the doctor? He was feeling a little hoarse.

66. Why did they say that racing horses have a negative attitude? They keep saying, neigh.

67. Have you heard about the horse racer who went on a horseback world tour? They call him a globe trotter.

68. What happened to the new horse riding club? The business kept falling.

69. Where did the newlywed horse racing couple stay? In the bridle suite.

70. Why was the horse racer standing behind the horse? Maybe he just wanted a kick out of it.

 

Bears repeating

BooHiss1.jpeg.d8bd63b5b8bf7d0e9e1e242e85ca4c0e.jpeg

 

 

:P

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