Wolfgang, SASS #53480 Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now. Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning. Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation. The biggest lie I tell myself is..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it." I don't have grey hair; I have "wisdom highlights" I'm just very wise. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees. Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators We haven't met yet. Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway? Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice. At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for. Actually I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. And I don’t have acne. Life is great. I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names. Now, I’m wondering...did I send this to you, or did you send it to me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rye Miles #13621 Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 They're all true! Plus you can eat cake and ice cream for supper if you want!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawg Hair, SASS #29557 Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 Nails it down to a tee! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 Damn...forgot what I was going to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G W Wade Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 Well said Sir GW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoken D Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 I resemble that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 I go to the jim a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saddle Up Slim Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 And you don't have to be "politically correct". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tascosa, SASS# 24838 Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 My doctor said I should spend an hour a day on the treadmill, so that's where I take my nap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 All true..... but I don't have gray hair because I'm prematurely blond. FWIW, I'm not fat, either. I'm circumferentially challenged Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 12 hours ago, Saddle Up Slim said: And you don't have to be "politically correct". I never didn't "have" to be, so I wasn't. Cost me some so-called friends, a fiancee, and at least one job, but none of that would have been worth keeping anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hashknife Cowboy Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Memory is the third thing to go.......can't seem to remember the first two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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