Charlie Harley, #14153 Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 I know there are a lot of veterans on the Wire and I need to pick your brains a minute. When the parent of an active duty service member passes away, how should the Navy/Army/etc handle the issue when notifying the service member and getting them home on leave? I know how they DID handle the situation last week with the son of a friend. I am so freaking furious at how the Navy treated him that I'm still cooling off. Any insight is much appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyrus Cassidy #45437 Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 By "how should" are you asking for what the regulations say? Or are you asking for our opinion on how it should be handled? If the former: Regulations mandate that surviving next of kin contact the Red Cross. The Red Cross verifies it is a truthful statement by using their own procedures so that people don't get their loved ones home by lying. The Red Cross is able to send messages to deployed soldiers through official channels. Once the message gets to the chain of command, the command must notifiy the soldier immediately. By regulation, soldiers are allowed to take emergency leave ONLY if immediate family members die. This includes mother, father, brother, sister, spouse, or children. Those listed automatically guarantee the soldier is allowed emergency leave. If other relatives pass away, it's up to the discretion of the Company Commander; it's NOT guaranteed. Notice this includes grandparents; HOWEVER, there is an exception of the soldier was raised by his / her grandparents. If that's the case, it becomes automatic, but it's on the soldier to prove it to be true. That's often hard to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 By "how should" are you asking for what the regulations say? Or are you asking for our opinion on how it should be handled? If the former: Regulations mandate that surviving next of kin contact the Red Cross. The Red Cross verifies it is a truthful statement by using their own procedures so that people don't get their loved ones home by lying. The Red Cross is able to send messages to deployed soldiers through official channels. Once the message gets to the chain of command, the command must notify the soldier immediately. By regulation, soldiers are allowed to take emergency leave ONLY if immediate family members die. This includes mother, father, brother, sister, spouse, or children. Those listed automatically guarantee the soldier is allowed emergency leave. If other relatives pass away, it's up to the discretion of the Company Commander; it's NOT guaranteed. Notice this includes grandparents; HOWEVER, there is an exception of the soldier was raised by his / her grandparents. If that's the case, it becomes automatic, but it's on the soldier to prove it to be true. That's often hard to do. That is precisely how I was notified about my grandfather's passing back in '79. We were in the field at Lejune. My Company First Sergeant made the notification. I was given emergency leave. It was about as efficient as it could be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocDisaster # 45431 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Just recently my father passed away and my Nephew was in Iraqi, the Red Cross was notified and notified his Superiors, he received the notification by the Chaplin and was allowed to call home. Doc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Sides Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 I received a Red Cross notification while in the Navy. But because we were on picket station, the reality was I was not going to go home for the funeral. It just the way it is unless maybe you are stationed on shore or a carrier. Tragic, but the it was then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakota Rebel, SASS# 58412 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 The Red Cross notified the Army, my commander notified me, I was on a plane home that afternoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apache Hawk 60642 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Well, when Grandmaw passed, I was overseas and da Army didn't tell me till after I got da adit. from da newspaper, 8 days after dey put her bones in da ground. When I requested emergenacy leave, my co said "No. I was too valueable on post." When I went over his head, da answer was still "NO" wif a threat of a courtsmarshell !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shakey Merlot Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Howdy, Having spent a career in the Corps and having 2 kids in the USAF, the rules haven't changed. I was in Okinawa in 1983 when my grandma passed and got the notification from Red Cross the day after the funeral. Sometimes that's the way it is. My daughter was in Korea when my dad passed and she got the Red Cross notification the day of his funeral. My son got it the same day I talked to Red Cross, but he is in Minot, North Dakota. I don't know what happened to your friend's son, but the military - contrary to what some beilieve - do a pretty good job of both notification and expediting emergency leave if warranted. Unfortunately, the process is slower if one is overseas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Rustler, SASS #26680 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 It's important that your family has the information on where you are, which unit you're with, etc, so the Red Cross can find you in the system. I was overseas in Germany and my First Sgt found my house at night to notify me (before the days of cell phones), they were already working on plane tickets, and I left the next day. They can't do this unless Red Cross provides them with a WADL number which will verify that it qualifies you for emergency leave. The military will fly you from overseas to whichever airport they can book you to in the States, then (by regulation) you are responsible for paying the rest of the way home. If you can't afford it each service has assistance organizations that should be able to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 In '66 my battalion was in Erlangen, Germany. I was with a detail in Neu Ulm painting a storage area in the basement of our new mess hall. (The storage area was to be used for storage of classified weapons after the battalion moved to Neu Ulm.) I got a telegram that my father had died. As usual my mother did not go through proper channels. I was sent to the Chaplain with the telegram, his office contacted the Red Cross for confirmaton. That afternoon the detail returned to Erlangen and I was given an emergency leave to return home. My leave was to begin when I got checked out of the airport in New York. It was Thursday evening. The Master Sergeant looked at my papers and said "close enough to Friday for me." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seldom Seen #16162 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 I know there are a lot of veterans on the Wire and I need to pick your brains a minute. When the parent of an active duty service member passes away, how should the Navy/Army/etc handle the issue when notifying the service member and getting them home on leave? I know how they DID handle the situation last week with the son of a friend. I am so freaking furious at how the Navy treated him that I'm still cooling off. Any insight is much appreciated. So how was it handled? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Mayo, SASS # 28961 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 This goes back a few years. I was stationed at Cam Ranh Bay, RVN. My father died in an automobile accident. I got a message to report to the orderly room early the morning of January 6th. I was informed that a message from the Red Cross had arrived indicating that my father had died in an auto accident at 11 something at night on the 4th of January. I was directed to immediately report to personnel for processing for reassignment as I had less then 50 days left on my current tour and was being assigned to a stateside assignment. My stateside assignment was changed from McClellan AFB, in Sacramento, CA to Griffiss AFB in Rome, NY. The unit I was to be assigned to at McClellan had just rotated to Korea for a year. I was notified at 8AM on the 6th of January, by 8AM on the 7th I was boarding a plane to fly home. I had a short layover at the Tokyo airport, flew to Anchorage Alaska to refuel. We had to de-plane while the re-fueling was done. It had just snowed, we walked what seemed like 100 yards to the terminal through about 6" of snow. I was wearing a short sleeve summer uniform. Utilities were not allowed and most of my uniforms were too mildewed from all the rain. We flew into SEA-TAC, I caught a plane to DC, I believe it was what is now the Reagan National Airport, caught a bus to the Dulles airport so I could catch a plane to Harrisburg, PA. Still in my summer uniform, no coat, snow on the ground, temps well below freezing, I was cold. I walked in my mothers house at 8PM on the 7th of January. The viewing was on the 8th, funeral on the 9th. 2 months later I was a pall bearer at my grandfathers funeral (dad's dad) and a month later a pall bearer at an aunt's funeral. When I flew in to Syracuse NY, my uncle picked me up and drove me to Rome, NY about 90 miles. They had so much snow and no place to put it. The snow was piled up at the intersections that you could not see and tractor/trailer until it entered the intersection. Big change from 110 degree monsoon season of Viet Nam to the below freezing temps and snow of NY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden A. Grudge Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 With technology and communication the way it is today, most of the time the soldier knows the situation before the Red Cross message makes it to the command. Even had a soldier call in his own Red Cross message once. I was the BN S1 during my first deployment and processed many Emergency Leave packets. Very few were suprises to the soldier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooting Bull Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Howdy, Having spent a career in the Corps and having 2 kids in the USAF, the rules haven't changed. I was in Okinawa in 1983 when my grandma passed and got the notification from Red Cross the day after the funeral. Sometimes that's the way it is. My daughter was in Korea when my dad passed and she got the Red Cross notification the day of his funeral. My son got it the same day I talked to Red Cross, but he is in Minot, North Dakota. I don't know what happened to your friend's son, but the military - contrary to what some beilieve - do a pretty good job of both notification and expediting emergency leave if warranted. Unfortunately, the process is slower if one is overseas. I was Air Force on Okinawa from '81 - '83. In that time three of my buddies had immediate family members die. All three of them were notified within 48 hours of the passings. From what I was told in 1st Sergeant school, family members back home giving the proper contact info to the Red Cross is most crucial. Contact info for the funeral home that's handling the services and contact info for the service member who's to be notified. Get those two things correct and notifications happen pretty quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 So how was it handled? +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Harley, #14153 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share Posted January 20, 2011 Okay, it was my stepson's situation that I was asking about. My apologies for being oblique. It was his biological father who passed away. The situation is complicated and awkward, and I'd rather not share too many details. I have spoken with his chain of command and they acknowledged that protocols were not followed which put my son in a very bad spot. Okay, he's my stepson, but I've been married to his mom since he was six years old and am "dad" to him. All parties have owned up to the situation and are moving forward. Steps have been put in place to make sure that what happened last week doesn't happen again. Thank you all for your perspectives. I added them to my own experience of being a cadet and officer many years ago, and it gave me a frame of reference when working through with the CoC. R.I.P. Gus. May you have found peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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