Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 52 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said: Speak Australish Salad dodger - Fatso. ....... there's no need to be rude ...... () 1 3 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 21, 2022 Author Posted January 21, 2022 Ricky decides to go back home to Melbourne so he calls Qantas Airlines to book his flight. The operator asks him, 'How many people are flying with you?' Ricky replies, 'Strewth mate, how would I know. It's your plane.' 2 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 21, 2022 Author Posted January 21, 2022 GOOD TIP ON HOW TO GET PERMISSION TO PLAY GOLF Four married men were happy playing golf early on a Saturday morning… During the 4th hole the following conversation began: First Man: Bet you’ve no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing today... I had to promise my wife that I’ll paint the sitting room next weekend. Second Man: That's nothing; I had to promise mine I’d build a new deck for the pool. Third Man: You both have it sooo easy! I had to promise my wife that I’ll remodel the kitchen for her. They continue to play the hole,… and eventually realize that the fourth Man hasn’t said a word. So they ask him: 'You haven't said anything about how come you were let out to play golf today. What's the deal?' Fourth Man: I just set my alarm for 5 am. When it went off, I gave the wife a slap on her ass and said: 'Golf course or intercourse? ' She said: 'Wear sun-block 1 4 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 22, 2022 Author Posted January 22, 2022 42 minutes ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said: Hilarious !!!! Quote
John Kloehr Posted January 22, 2022 Posted January 22, 2022 First I must congratulate Australia for getting a referee into the finals of the World Cup. Second, what the heck is a "Bogan?" Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted January 22, 2022 Posted January 22, 2022 1 hour ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said: ......... now that's below the belt, ......... and funny as all getout ..... Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted January 22, 2022 Posted January 22, 2022 4 minutes ago, John Kloehr said: First I must congratulate Australia for getting a referee into the finals of the World Cup. Second, what the heck is a "Bogan?" .... sort of a cross between rednecks and swamp peoples ..... 4 Quote
John Kloehr Posted January 22, 2022 Posted January 22, 2022 8 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said: .... sort of a cross between rednecks and swamp peoples ..... So if you see a chicken coop and there is a laundry line of drying clothes attached to it...(?) 2 Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted January 22, 2022 Posted January 22, 2022 16 minutes ago, John Kloehr said: So if you see a chicken coop and there is a laundry line of drying clothes attached to it...(?) ...... quite probably ....... Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 22, 2022 Author Posted January 22, 2022 @John Kloehr John.....here's a bit of an example of an Aussie bogan - 1 1 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 23, 2022 Author Posted January 23, 2022 A tour bus driver is driving with a busload of seniors down a highway on the Queensland's Gold Coast when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, “why don’t you eat the peanuts yourself?” “We can’t chew them because we’ve no teeth”, she replied. The puzzled driver asks, “Why do you buy them then?”, The old lady replied, “We just love the chocolate around them.” 3 2 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 24, 2022 Author Posted January 24, 2022 Ramblings of a retired mind * I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. * You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway. * I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans. * I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust." * I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers * Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!" 4 Quote
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted January 24, 2022 Posted January 24, 2022 Only in Australia will you see a dog eating a shark, while two snakes are tangled in a duel to the death! 2 3 Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted January 24, 2022 Posted January 24, 2022 ^^^^^^^ ... I don't think that's part of the tourism package .... 2 Quote
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted January 26, 2022 Posted January 26, 2022 (edited) Edited January 26, 2022 by Father Kit Cool Gun Garth 4 Quote
John Kloehr Posted January 26, 2022 Posted January 26, 2022 On 1/23/2022 at 10:12 PM, Buckshot Bear said: * I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust." Buns of Lead 2 Quote
Alpo Posted January 27, 2022 Posted January 27, 2022 Goanna. How 'bout dat. It's a real thing. In Crocodile Dundee, Mick has taken Sue to this little pond out in the outback, and he's feeding her some bush meat. I remember he offered her some sugar ants and some goanna. Looking at the critter he had in his hand, I just figured he could not pronounce iguana. Quote
Gateway Kid SASS# 70038 Life Posted January 27, 2022 Posted January 27, 2022 52 minutes ago, Alpo said: Goanna. How 'bout dat. It's a real thing. In Crocodile Dundee, Mick has taken Sue to this little pond out in the outback, and he's feeding her some bush meat. I remember he offered her some sugar ants and some goanna. Looking at the critter he had in his hand, I just figured he could not pronounce iguana. As I recall his point was that you could eat them but they tasted like $h!t. No thanks for this yank. For real food I now refer you back to the pepperoni thread Regards Gateway Kid 1 3 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 27, 2022 Author Posted January 27, 2022 An old soldier was celebrating 82 years on this earth. He spoke to his toes. "Hello toes!" he said, "how are you, toes? You know, you are 82 today. Oh, the times we`ve had! Remember when we walked in the park in summer every Sunday afternoon? The times we waltzed on the dance floor? Happy birthday, toes!" "Hello knees", he continued. "How are you, knees? You know you`re 82 today.Oh, the times we`ve had! Remember when we marched in the parade? Oh, the hurdles we`ve jumped together. Happy birthday, knees!"Then, he looked down at his crotch. "Hello Willy! If you were alive today, you`d be 82 years old!" 2 Quote
Gateway Kid SASS# 70038 Life Posted January 29, 2022 Posted January 29, 2022 Ummm Don't think any of that is more than a male (16 year old) fantasy. A nice one but fantasy nonetheless. BTW showed this to my wife and got the "look" Regards Gateway Kid 4 1 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 29, 2022 Author Posted January 29, 2022 1 hour ago, Gateway Kid SASS# 70038 Life said: Ummm Don't think any of that is more than a male (16 year old) fantasy. A nice one but fantasy nonetheless. BTW showed this to my wife and got the "look" Regards Gateway Kid Here's one for you to share GK 3 Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted January 29, 2022 Posted January 29, 2022 .... a bit small to read, ........ but I bet it's probably worth 3 whacks across your noggin from your good Lady wife and her favourite frying pan ....... 2 1 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 29, 2022 Author Posted January 29, 2022 20 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said: .... a bit small to read, ........ but I bet it's probably worth 3 whacks across your noggin from your good Lady wife and her favourite frying pan ....... With a 14" cast iron skillet! How times have changed. 2 1 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 30, 2022 Author Posted January 30, 2022 Painting the Porch A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first mansion, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?" Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?" He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by email lately." Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the startled husband asked. "Yes, the blonde replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip. "And by the way, "the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus." 2 6 Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted January 31, 2022 Posted January 31, 2022 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ........ yep ....... Quote
MizPete Posted February 1, 2022 Posted February 1, 2022 On 1/28/2022 at 11:41 PM, Buckshot Bear said: With a 14" cast iron skillet! I don't think I can wield a 14" cast iron skillet. Backhand, maybe. 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted February 1, 2022 Posted February 1, 2022 On 1/28/2022 at 11:41 PM, Buckshot Bear said: With a 14" cast iron skillet! How times have changed. I thought Oz went metric. Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted February 1, 2022 Author Posted February 1, 2022 8 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: I thought Oz went metric. It strange......its a mix. 1 Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.