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The Aussie Humour Thread


Buckshot Bear

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5 minutes ago, Alpo said:

This is a muffin

Breakfast-Muffins-5.jpg

It looks something like a cupcake. Except it's not frosted. Or iced, depending on what you call that thing you put on the top of cake.

 

These are English muffins

vegan-english-muffins-2.jpg

 

You cut them in half, and then you toast them and put butter or jam on them.

 

Toasted-English-muffin-with-honey.jpg

 

Or, in the case of this picture, honey.

 

But it's not a muffin. It's an English muffin. That would be like saying that French toast is toast. It's not.

And English muffins are cut with fork tunes(TINES), not a knife!

Edited by Eyesa Horg
Fricken otto
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If you cut the English muffin by pushing a fork into the side all around, it will have little holes for butter etc. to soak into. Prolly even Vegemite!

 

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Well, the recipe for crumpets in days of yore, was originally a "Downstairs" treat.  Leftover bread dough and leftover mash. Haven't had a real one since I was in the UK in the late '70's.  Even the best English Muffins here in the US,  are nothing like they were.  I have a recipe in an old English cookbook.  May have to give it a try.
 

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4 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

I hope these are a thing for you pards !!

 

448779984_1009581947342607_2618617515662361287_n.jpg.73565396551050f12fb8334dafde0e77.jpg

 

448781263_1009581960675939_6954691930560744374_n.jpg.35578ff89e3420605661b1c8cbdfa2cb.jpg

 

Must be our proximity to the USA because here in Canada, we call them "English Muffins".

Fresh package of 6 in the frig right now, waiting for breakfast. 

Split with a fork, lightly toasted and coated with honey.

Oh, and coffee, not tea.

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In 1880, Samuel Bath Thomas created the Original “Nooks & Crannies®” English Muffin after moving from England to the United States. He used a top secret process that included griddle baking to create a muffin that was crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside.  He founded Thomas' Breads which is still in business today.

 

When making Crumpets the batter is poured into a metal ring and allowed to cook until done. They are never flipped over. The bottom is solid and slightly browned while the top is full of little holes. You do not cut them open.

Crumpets have a similar texture to a fluffy pancake. 

 

When making an English Muffin you make a dough and then cut out the individual muffins. Using a griddle, they grilled on one side before flipping them over and grilling the other side. Both sides are browned. You don't see any holes until they are cut open. English Muffins have a texture similar to bread.

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

 

Must be our proximity to the USA because here in Canada, we call them "English Muffins".

Fresh package of 6 in the frig right now, waiting for breakfast. 

Split with a fork, lightly toasted and coated with honey.

Oh, and coffee, not tea.

 

 

No no you're not talking about Crumpets.....its not possible to split a crumpet. 

 

Edited by Buckshot Bear
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And just for a bit of fun...."Gettin' a bit of crumpet" is some old Aussie slang that you do hear in the pub.

 

“A bit of crumpet” is an English term for trying to pick up a partner on a night out. Its a reference to someone who is sexually active and may have derived from the Cockney rhyming slang “strumpet”.

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Shopping at Surfers Paradise in 1968, when the Meter Maids popped coins in the parking meter, whilst the tourist grabbed at meal at Kimdo, prior to picking up the coconut oil and sunburn lotion from the chemist, before hitting those famous Surfers Paradise beaches.

 

448732640_10233235730815072_1349513029400046919_n.jpg.9a48c0c40bb9c69d6c62d35de834d3d9.jpg

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27 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

The giant Gippsland earthworm, Megascolides australis, is one of Australia's 1,000 native earthworm species.

 

448805314_122110387880352641_900640932585628430_n.jpg.88994b572d3bde8c284969e426a4ba40.jpg

I'm not sure which would be more impressive. The fish hook you thread that sucker onto, or the fish that bites it.

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26 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Shopping at Surfers Paradise in 1968, when the Meter Maids popped coins in the parking meter, whilst the tourist grabbed at meal at Kimdo, prior to picking up the coconut oil and sunburn lotion from the chemist, before hitting those famous Surfers Paradise beaches.

 

448732640_10233235730815072_1349513029400046919_n.jpg.9a48c0c40bb9c69d6c62d35de834d3d9.jpg

I guess that's another example of a language difference.

 

Here a meter maid is the cop - normally female - that puts parking tickets on the cars when they have expired parking meters.

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49 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

The giant Gippsland earthworm, Megascolides australis, is one of Australia's 1,000 native earthworm species.

 

448805314_122110387880352641_900640932585628430_n.jpg.88994b572d3bde8c284969e426a4ba40.jpg

 

22 minutes ago, Alpo said:

I'm not sure which would be more impressive. The fish hook you thread that sucker onto, or the fish that bites it.

 

 ....... probably the kind of fish that does this ......

 

On 6/10/2024 at 8:52 AM, Major Crimes said:

r/oddlyterrifying - Visit Australia

🙃

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30 minutes ago, Alpo said:

I guess that's another example of a language difference.

 

Here a meter maid is the cop - normally female - that puts parking tickets on the cars when they have expired parking meters.

 

I like our version better :) 

Parking tickets here are given out by what we call 'Brown Bombers'.

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11 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

The giant Gippsland earthworm, Megascolides australis, is one of Australia's 1,000 native earthworm species.

 

448805314_122110387880352641_900640932585628430_n.jpg.88994b572d3bde8c284969e426a4ba40.jpg

 

OK, so how does this one try to kill you?

Constrictor?

Poisonous?

Swallow whole?

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13 minutes ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

 

OK, so how does this one try to kill you?

Constrictor?

Poisonous?

Swallow whole?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                    ..... yes

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1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

448846063_8247879441889553_2327332427993869849_n.jpg.6ee7bf531f090bab51793e75d2d04118.jpg

Neighbors way back in suburbia had a birthday party for one of their kids. Sent everyone out on a scavenger hunt with the goal being to trade whatever they had for "something bigger or better."

 

I was presented me with an empty plastic water bottle. It had a cap. I took it and said "give me a minute." Brought it back filled with water from the tap. Incredulous look... "Hey, it's better now!"

 

Big grin of agreement.

 

The next weekend, my neighbor had to haul off broken water heaters, bent rusted bicycles, logs, all sorts of junk. Seems a lot of neighbors chose "bigger."

Edited by John Kloehr
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16 hours ago, sassnetguy50 said:

 

Question for the Australians: do you call a cocktail with no alcohol a "virgin cocktail"?

 

Its not a term that I'm familiar with, but I don't have all that much to do with virgins. 

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