Jump to content
SASS Wire Forum

This Explains A Lot


Subdeacon Joe

Recommended Posts

Posted

Miners working for Starbucks have confirmed an exciting discovery: vast swathes of pumpkin spice buried deep beneath the earth, just under the coffee company’s Seattle headquarters.

 

 

“We sent our teams of spice harvesters out to collect the pumpkin spice, so the middle-class women of America will be appeased,” Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson said in a press conference Friday. “The pumpkin spice must flow.”

“He who controls the pumpkin spice controls the 18-40 female market demographic,” he added, his eyes radiating with a mysterious orange tint.

At publishing time, spice harvester crews had discovered ample deposits of peppermint mocha.

Posted
9 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

“We sent our teams of spice harvesters out to collect the pumpkin spice, so the middle-class women of America will be appeased,” Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson said in a press conference Friday. “The pumpkin spice must flow.”

“He who controls the pumpkin spice controls the 18-40 female market demographic,” he added, his eyes radiating with a mysterious orange tint.


Dune...;)

Posted

EGzUEPoWsAAjhIu.jpg

Posted

Starbucks = House Harkonnen, explains a lot...

Posted
6 minutes ago, Sixgun Sheridan said:

That's strange, I thought the only things you'd find in Seattle were used needles, bags of weed and pro-communist literature?

 

You misspelled San Francisco. 

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.