Subdeacon Joe 25,836 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Miners working for Starbucks have confirmed an exciting discovery: vast swathes of pumpkin spice buried deep beneath the earth, just under the coffee company’s Seattle headquarters. “We sent our teams of spice harvesters out to collect the pumpkin spice, so the middle-class women of America will be appeased,” Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson said in a press conference Friday. “The pumpkin spice must flow.” “He who controls the pumpkin spice controls the 18-40 female market demographic,” he added, his eyes radiating with a mysterious orange tint. At publishing time, spice harvester crews had discovered ample deposits of peppermint mocha. Link to post Share on other sites
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 3,325 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Hmmmmm. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 7,032 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 16-45, they lie about their age. Link to post Share on other sites
Pat Riot, SASS #13748 22,361 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 9 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: “We sent our teams of spice harvesters out to collect the pumpkin spice, so the middle-class women of America will be appeased,” Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson said in a press conference Friday. “The pumpkin spice must flow.” “He who controls the pumpkin spice controls the 18-40 female market demographic,” he added, his eyes radiating with a mysterious orange tint. Dune... Link to post Share on other sites
Ozark Shark 379 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Link to post Share on other sites
Subdeacon Joe 25,836 Posted September 22, 2020 Author Share Posted September 22, 2020 1 hour ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said: Dune... Dow-Dune average. Link to post Share on other sites
DeaconKC 1,759 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Starbucks = House Harkonnen, explains a lot... Link to post Share on other sites
Cheyenne Ranger, 48747L 2,096 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Link to post Share on other sites
Adolph Vancinghand, SASS #28923 85 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 37 minutes ago, DeaconKC said: Starbucks = House Harkonnen, explains a lot... Absolutely perfect. And here I was thinking that I was the only closet Dune fanatic out there... Does that make Amazon the Guild? Link to post Share on other sites
Sixgun Sheridan 4,248 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 That's strange, I thought the only things you'd find in Seattle were used needles, bags of weed and pro-communist literature? Link to post Share on other sites
Subdeacon Joe 25,836 Posted September 22, 2020 Author Share Posted September 22, 2020 6 minutes ago, Sixgun Sheridan said: That's strange, I thought the only things you'd find in Seattle were used needles, bags of weed and pro-communist literature? You misspelled San Francisco. Link to post Share on other sites
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