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You know, there just might be something to that. The last time I had any deer meat, my brother had come to town for some reason or other, and connected with an old friend from school. And since it was deer season they decided to go hunting together. But apparently this old friend was one of them weird people that only has one gun so my brother came to me and asked if I had one he could use. I asked him what he wanted, and he said he would prefer a bolt action around 30 caliber with a scope. And I told him by a strange coincidence I happened to have one of them. So I loaned him my rifle, and gave him the only eight rounds I had loaded for it, and ended up with two hind quarters of venison.

When a Dark Lord of Soot plays in the band...

I love the look on its face ▼

A 5-year-old boy visited his grandmother one clay. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while Grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?" Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma later turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello son, is your grandma home?" The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom banging her boyfriend." The minister fainted.

It rubs the sauce on it's skin or it gets the hose again...

Sometimes

In regards to spurious "u's" in words, I quote Andrew Jackson - - - "It's a dam poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word". However my English teacher was not convinced - - - drat. STL Suomi Clever folks those Aussies -

I guess they had to rewrite that joke when they started putting ketchup in plastic squeeze bottles. Mama is in the kitchen trying to get some ketchup on the meatloaf. So she's banging on the bottom of the bottle. All y'all old folks - y'all remember doing that, right? Doorbell rings and Little Tommy goes to the door, and it's the preacher. He asked if Tommy's Mama is home. "She's out in the kitchen belting the bottle."

If she is really, really small I could use her to crawl down my shotgun barrels. I's spry her with #9 and have sparkling clean bores in a jiffy.

..... and there'd be potholes ......

Obvious photoshop. If it were real, the road would be orange.

1812 Overture ?

Unfair to zombies and androids.

NAP TIME!!

It's just a funny log for tourists to use walk out a bit further into the water

Just made a huge pot of vegetable/beef soup! Onions, potatoes, carrots, bell pepper, celery, mushrooms, and about five pounds of beef. Cooked up some tomato sauce, a big box of beef broth, and some choice spices. Fried all the veggies in a dab of olive oil and a stick of butter. Browned the beef chunks in the liquid left from doing the vegetables along with some Worstershire, a liberal amount of garlic, and some black pepper and sage. It’s simmering on the stove as I post this. Grandson will be here for the weekend. Less than usual to be grumpy about!