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Tennessee williams

Widder is selling his dog

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   I went by Widders' house today and there was a sign out front by the road. It said "talking dog for sale". Well, that spurred my interest so I decided to stop in and see what was going on. I went in and told Widder I seen his sign out by the road and wanted to check this dog out. Widder said help yourself, he's in the kitchen. I said OK and went on in there. I seen the dog and said hey boy. That dog turned around and looked at me and said "howdy". I was dumbfounded and the first thing I thought of to ask is "what have you done with your life?" The dog replied, "well, I started off in the Swiss alps helping save victims from avalanches. Then I served my country in Iraq. I finally came to Tennessee to retire." Well that made me mad and I went back in there to Widder and asked him why he wanted to sell that dog that's helped so many people in his life. Widder said, "cause he's a dang liar. He ain't done none of that stuff!" 

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I had a hunting dog that I had to sell. Being in the legal profession, of course I named him "Lawyer." Well, Lawyer was a hard working dog, a real go getter. He would keep his nose down, working hard, and there wasn't a pheasant he couldn't find. He could tell if a chukar or something else was in the scrub, lying. I never seen his equal. I sold him because I was out hunting and some joker called him "Judge." After that, all he would do is sit on his rear and bark.

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Posted (edited)

You've done it now TN......

You both always give me a good laugh.

Edited by Painted Mohawk SASS 77785
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Man went to see a theatrical agent. Said he had a talking dog. The agent wanted to see the act.

 

The man says to the dog, "what is on the top of a house?"

 

ROOFF

 

Then he asks, "what does sandpaper feel like?"

 

RUFF

 

And finally, "who was the greatest home run hitter?"

 

ROOTH

 

The agent jumped up and threw both of them out into the street.

 

The dog turned to the man and said, "I don't care what they say. Aaron had more at-bats".

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That dog was almost as bigger liar as TN.....  :lol:

 

Now that we're telling family secrets and such, I'll have to share one about TN.

About 4 years back, TN had to make an Emergency visit to the hospital in Murfreesboro for what turned out to be

an inflamed kidney stone.

 

Please Note:   Tn Williams is basically considered a clean cut, nice looking man amongst most of the ladies 

that know and meet him.  Plus, he knows how to charm them with his silver tongue.

 

ANYHOW, during his hospital stay, 2 of the nurses started fussing over which one was gonna care for him 

and in particular, trim his toenails.   In reality, it was a little embarrassing to TN and he complained to the

head floor nurse about this uninvited attention.

 

Sooooooo, the head floor nurse reassigned those nurses to other areas and it made both of them,

George and Harold, mad.

 

True Story.   Hey, ya just don't make this stuff up.

 

..........Widder

 

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Wishing you "Best of Luck" tomorrow Widder.

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   Well. I wasn't gonna tell this one on Widder but he's forced my hand. 

   A couple years ago Red Knee and I got together to play a prank on ole Widder. We hired a scantily clad lady of ill repute to knock on his door and mess with him. 

   She put on this tight little blue dress number what left very little to the imagination and knocked on his door. When widder answered, she said "I'm here to give you some super sex!" He looked at her a second and replied, "I'll have the soup."

 

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And of course, the Dynamic Duo (TN and Red Knee) managed to waste their money AGAIN.

 

TN has been wasting his money on super guns trying to get an edge on Randy St. Eagle, to no avail.

Red Knee has wasted his money on Shotgun shells.

:lol:

 

..........Widder

 

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The memory of this 'special' gift from my 2 good friends, I have remembered some of the conversation

with this 'person'.

 

I ask 'her' name and 'she' said..... "well, I was born Earl.   But after my surgery, TN Williams and other friends

started calling me 'Pearl'.      So you can call me 'Pearl'.

 

I said how bout I call you 'Gone',  and I shut the door and started laughing at the joke.

 

Never under estimate the shenanigans when you put a Vol and an Okie together.

 

..........Widder

 

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I thought this was gunna be widder's duck dog.  Widder would shoot a duck and the dog would run out there and get it.  But no matter what he tried, he just couldn't teach the dog to swim.  He just kept runnin on top of the water like an idiot.  I hear tell that embarrassed widder to no end. 

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I heard Widder was learning to judge the weight of different breeds of dogs.  

 

He picked up a few pointers yesterday.

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I wonder if the procedure Widder is undergoing with high performance parts and such qualifies as a "SASS approved modification" ??:P 

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