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Pat Riot, SASS #13748

Joke Time - Math Jokes

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Found these online. Thought I would share. :D

 

How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”

 

What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!

 

A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.

 

Did you hear the one about the statistician?
Probably.

 

Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.

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Why was six afraid of seven?

 

Because seven eight nine.

 

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Math limerick.jpg

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Did you hear about the mathematician that who scared of negative numbers? He'd stop at nothing to avoid them.

 

Know why plants hate math? It gives them square roots.

 

Know why nobody talks to a circle? Cause theres no point.

 

 

 

 

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17 hours ago, Alpo said:

Why was six afraid of seven?

 

Because seven eight nine.

 

Know why seven eight nine? Cause you gotta eat 3 squared meals a day!

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The headmaster of a private school was traveling through Appalachia looking for possible scholarship students.  He stopped at a small farm back in the hills and was speaking with Mr. Ab about what his son would be studying at the headmaster's school.  

 

The headmaster said to Mr. Ab, "Mr. Ab, at our school, we'll be teaching your son about American History and geography in our social studies department.  In our mathematics department, we'll be starting him with learning algebra and work on up to trigonometry."

 

Mr. Ab replied, "Make sure he gets plenty of that there trigonometry.  He's the worst shot in the whole family."

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Mr. Ab's son ended up getting a scholarship for the private school and went away to study there.  On a school holiday, Mr. Ab's son came back to the farm to visit his folks.

 

They were all sitting around the kitchen table drinking coffee and Mr. Ab said, "Son, what are you studying now?"

 

His son replied, "They have me in geometry class now."

 

So Mr. Ab said, "Tell me something about what you learned about geometry, son."

 

Mr. Ab's son thinks for a moment and then says, "Pi r squared."

 

Mr. Ab shakes his head and says, "Son, I don't know where your school is getting that.    The last time I looked, pie are ROUND, cornbread are squared!"

 

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How do you say three drowned cats in French?

Trois, Quatre, Cing.   Pronounced Twa Cat Sank  (Might not be true French but, that's how French Canadians pronounce it.)

 

Just as an aside, Canadian French has been basterized over the many years.  They use a lot of local slang and also use English words where there is no French equivalent.  

I had a French Canadian Corporal who didn't speak English until he joined the Air Force.  He said that when he was transferred to Metz, France, the French people there thought he was an American trying to speak French.  There is the French language and there is the French Canadian variety. :blink:

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An engineer and a mathematician walk into a bar. At the end of the bar sits a gorgeous redhead.  She gives them both the come hither look and says, “Which ever of you can reach me can have me in whatever way your deepest desires lead you. The only catch is that you can only cover half the remaining distance with each set of steps you take.”

 

The mathematician immediately throws up his hands in frustration. “Theoretically I could reach her if I took an infinite number of sets of steps, but that is just not possible.“ He turns to walk away until noticing the engineer. 

 

The engineer is loosening his trousers while ordering another of whatever the redhead is drinking. He obviously has a different outlook than the mathematician. 

 

The math guy tries to explain the sum of an infinite series when the engineer waves him off and says, “All true, but I can get close enough to make things work.”

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Today, I changed a light bulb, walked across the road then walked into a bar.  I just realized my life is a joke!        GW      I don"t do math

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Aside to an aside...

 

1 hour ago, Buffalo Creek Law Dog said:

 

Just as an aside, Canadian French has been basterized over the many years.  They use a lot of local slang and also use English words where there is no French equivalent.  

I had a French Canadian Corporal who didn't speak English until he joined the Air Force.  He said that when he was transferred to Metz, France, the French people there thought he was an American trying to speak French.  There is the French language and there is the French Canadian variety. :blink:

Canadian French stopped following Parisian French in 1759 when France ceded its North American possessions to Britain.  Then the language of both cultures evolved differently. In that time Belgian and Swiss French also diverged from Parisian. French is the most spoken European language in Africa. After WW II France lost most of its colonies in Africa and their versions of the mother language have also diverged.

 

in a satisfying sub note, I had better luck with taxis in Paris than my Québécoise practice wife.

 

another sub note. Every airport I have ever visited had some English signage, even San Diego.

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