Widder, SASS #59054 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Its been a tough week and tough crowd on the Wire. Ifn you think you gotta it rough, how would you like to be Rodney? "Last week my car broke down. With my car I got nothin but trouble. Every Sunday, I take my family out for a push." "Tough Crowd Tonight. Tough Week. I get No respect. I was an Ugly kid. My ole man didn't like the way I looked either. He carried around the picture of the kid that came with the wallet." My whole life all I've known is rejection. When I was a kid, my Yo-Yo would never come back to me." ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoss Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 When I was born the Dr slapped my mother! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lone Dog, SASS #20401 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 The doctor looked at me face and me arse and declared twins... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krazy Kajun Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. A girl phoned me the other day and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home. When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back. My wife’s cooking is so bad the flies fix our screens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yusta B. Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I really like my girl friend, my friends all like my girl friend, my wife - uh ... not so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyatt Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 The teacher in little Johnny's class asked what the class knew about Easter the the Resurection. Little Johnny raised his hand and said if it lasts over four hours call the doctor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spittoon otool Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 The Doc says I drink to much. There was an olive in my urine test. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Kris Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyatt Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Just because I can http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFYceqb-0j4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mean Matt McCord, SASS #24683 Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 I'm the only person I know that has a kidney-shaped pool with a stone in it. I have sex like I have my steaks - very rare. For my 10th birthday, my old man gave me a bicycle and 36 monthly payments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korupt Karl Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Hey, my daughter flunked her drivers test....she had no front seat experience. As a kid I was so ugly they had to tie a bone around my neck to get the dog to play with me. My wife said to take her someplace she had never been....I took her to the kitchen. My wife asked what was on the tv....I told her dust. I get no respect. KK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 You think you got it bad? My twin brother forgot my birthday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bart Solo Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 You guys think you had a rough week, why Prince of Pistoleers was so rough on one stage I pulled a couple of shotgun shells from my belt and one of the shells went flying out of my hand straight at the shotgun target. It missed. On another stage I was shooting at a swinging buffalo when my glasses slid down the bridge of my nose. I couldn't see a thing. The TO, Tame Bill, told me I shot better after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted June 9, 2013 Author Share Posted June 9, 2013 My wife has always like NASCAR in Indy race cars. She said she would like something for her birthday that would go from 0 -160 in 3 seconds. I bought her some bathroom scales. (author unknown...maybe Rodney) ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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