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Parental Basics


Subdeacon Joe

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"When a hobo told Andy he should just let Opie "decide for himself" how he wanted to live… He had these words of Mayberry wisdom.

"No, I'm afraid it don't work that way. You can't let a young’n decide for himself. He'll grab at the first flashy thing with shiny ribbons on it. Then, when he finds out there's a hook in it, it's too late. Wrong ideas come packaged with so much glitter that it's hard to convince them that other things might be better in the long run. All a parent can do is say 'Wait' and 'Trust me' and try to keep temptation away."
Somehow... we have lost this basic truth."
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When I corrected a neighbor boy recently I was chewed out by the mom.  I learned that boys will be boys and I was spying on her kid.  And I thought I was parenting mine, hmm.

 

'I don't make my kid do anything he doesn't want to do'

'I don't know how to control my 16 year old' ... car keys?

 

Watching your kid and correcting them must not be WOKE.

 

Todays  too many parents are just lazy, they can't be that stupid can they?  At the same time I'd propose parenting has gotten tougher.

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3 hours ago, Gungadin said:

Todays  too many parents are just lazy, they can't be that stupid can they?  At the same time I'd propose parenting has gotten tougher.

 Yes they are that stupid.  Parenting has gotten harder and so has being a kid.  I am so glad I finished school before social media came along.  Used to be you did something stupid or embarrassing it pretty much stayed at the classroom or school level.  Now, courtesy of the damn smartphones and their cameras, a kid who

does something  stupid or embarrassing might see it shared to multiple social media sites and video sites worldwide.

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You are right, being able to harass, abuse, in volume at the speed of light is rough on our children.  Jr High was bad enough in the carbon paper days....Imagine we can't take their phones.  When we were kids they took your chewing gum.  But parents think they are in control if a kid has a phone :wacko::wacko:

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I remember the time when my son, a seventh grader, came home and was screwing around at the breakfast bar in our kitchen.  My wife scolded him for something and he told her to "go ...... yourself."

 

I  was right at his elbow and he never saw the slap that took him off the stool and ran part of his retainer through his top lip.

 

He got up, staggered around a few seconds, and apologized to his Mom and asked her to call our family doctor.  She told him she'd drive him downtown and he said "I'll ride my bike down.  I have some thinking to do."

 

He never made that mistake again and I never mentioned it to him again.  He is 58 years old now and turned out alright after some dead ends and U turns.

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I was in the grocery store a couple months ago and some lady gave her kid a whack across the mouth because he was having some kind of tantrum! I said, "Good for you M'am", she looked at me and said, "Mind your own business buddy"!!!! Ooooookaaay................:o

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Sometimes we get frustrated and sometimes we act before we think.  It is good to be in control when disciplining a child.  You might 'act' like you are not 'in control' for affect...

 

My one boy just called mom 'dude'.  I wasn't close so he got a 'never again, it is 'Mom', 'Mommy' or 'yes mam' son.  Probably good I wasn't close, I had more time to behave correctly.

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A couple of times I've seen a mom getting frustrated trying to control a kid in a store and stopped, stared at the kid and said, soto vice, "Kid, don't make your mom get out the duct tape." Got a wide eyed , gaped mouth stare from the kid and a grateful look from the mom.

 

On the flip side, in a park or playground, when I've heard a mom say, "Behave yourself!" I'll say to her, loud enough for the kid to hear, "You know, any action or inaction is behavior." That either gets me a chuckle or The Look.  But it always seems to, at least for a while, get the little hellspawn under control.

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My second cousin was prone to temper tantrums. He threw one in a store one day. He was lying on the floow kicking his feet and slamming his fists into the floor when a lady walked up and gave his Grandpa ( my Uncle ) a funny look. my uncle looked her straight in the eye and said "Don't concern yourself, his mother does the same thing"  I thought the lady was going to pass out from shock.

 

He was the hardest headed kid I ever saw. We were playing cards one evening and he kept trying to play in the trash. His grandma would smack his hands with a flyswatter every time he put his hands into the trash can.  This went on for over an hour before he finally decided that the pain was not worth it. His hands were beet red by this time. Not once did he cry. Spanking had the same effect. He wouldn't cry and would be even more determined to do what ever it was that got him a spanking in the first place. 

 

Only person he ever minded was my grandma (his great grandma). Not sure what Grandma did to get his attention but I do remember that all Grandma had to do was say his name in that you're fixin' to get a spanking voice and he would straighten right up.

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I was in 4th grade in 1972 I guess.  We got the new rookie teacher, "I'm your friend", "Learning will be fun"

 

My class of 8 year olds were not stupid.  BLOOD IN THE WATER, SHARK BAIT.  Not the same respect that the 3rd grade teacher that taught dad got.  Not even close.

 

She probably went to Woodstock :o

 

But at least we had to call her Miss Surname, the I want to be your friend call me Miss Becky came a few years later.  Then teachers quit wearing ties and now they dress like students and wonder why they are not respected.  I'm sure I'm insulting some teacher here but as Coach D says "Look good, play good .... eat good".  

 

I suppose every generation talks like this.  My grandparents probably thought school had gotten to easy and loose.  But man it seems to have accelerated in my lifetime.

 

I can tell you the S Korean kid I knew was disciplined and got an education.  Different culture.

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