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ironmaiden

Dessert Wars at Black Gold!

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Hey!! Red!!

 

Betcha' Titus'll really be dancin' 'bout the time Black Gold rolls around!! You'll shore have a challenge on yer hands!! :lol::lol::lol:

 

 

 

 

 

........or should I say, yer feets???

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I hope everyone is practicing your dance moves. Little bird told me that there will be a pole or two this year!

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I hope everyone is practicing your dance moves. Little bird told me that there will be a pole or two this year!

 

I hope that little bird told you that them poles are made outta steel pipe. I had to remove a few splinters outta my :o .....hands, yeah thats it.....hands, after last years performance! Occupational risks don'tcha know! :P

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Don't know what you'uns is talkin' 'bout!! Ponderosa Pines is a "No Tell" party place!!!

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Sure would like to be able to taste a cupcake. (no-chocolate,vanilla,cinnamon,citrus,coke,liquor,paprika). Try that one!

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Sure would like to be able to taste a cupcake. (no-chocolate,vanilla,cinnamon,citrus,coke,liquor,paprika). Try that one!

 

I've been exercising my taste buds just to get ready to judge this cupcake contest!

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Sure would like to be able to taste a cupcake. (no-chocolate,vanilla,cinnamon,citrus,coke,liquor,paprika). Try that one!

 

Sounds to me like yer describin a rice cake instead of a cupcake! :(

 

That bein said, I've seen some mighty tasty desserts :wub: presented for consumption at the Black Gold Dessert Contests. And if a tasty cupcake, given your restrictions, can be made....the dessert chefs involved in this competition are no doubt worthy of the task! :)

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Jackalope,

 

You know that a Miller Lite cupcake can be made.

 

Titus, please use your dictionary to find us plenty of words to describe the goodies we are going to taste.

 

Fantasmagorical is one!

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Jackalope,

 

You know that a Miller Lite cupcake can be made.

 

Titus, please use your dictionary to find us plenty of words to describe the goodies we are going to taste.

 

Fantasmagorical is one!

 

I can hold about 3 dozen Miller Lite cupcakes before I fall over.

 

We're gonna need Titus to conjure up a bunch of goodie-adjectives, for certain!

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Hey Jackalope!! Matthew will be back on drums this year!! Wait 'till y'all hear the band with two drummers!!

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Ok folks, as y'all are aware, Judge, Jackalope and myself were chosen to be the judges for the Dessert Contest. And y'all might assume that our appointments to these prestigious positions were based on some unseemly premise such as nepotism, the 'good old boy' system, bribery, or any number of other such deplorable possibilities. Well let me assure you, nothing could be further from the truth!

 

This esteemed panel of judges was selected solely due to our professional training. Yes, that's right, we were deemed the most qualified to provide a level of skill, knowledge, experience and uncanny abilities that could be found and applied in what could likely be a very serious competitive environment!

 

Judge'em All Duncan, Jackalope Jasper and Titus A. Gnatsass, all being quite masterful Tasteologists, highly trained in the field of Tasteology, will no doubt amaze those in attendance as they witness us apply our flavorological skills as we conduct our meticulous efforts in determining the winners of this display of sweet treats.

 

So don't be shocked if you hear these esteemed judges utter any of the following descriptive phrases as they conduct their professional assessments of the contest entries!

 

WooWee, that sure is supertasteadocious!

 

Tastylicious don't even come close to describin this'n!

 

Wow, I think I just had a tastegasm!

 

Slap yo grandma, I thank I just found my most flavoritastic one yet!

 

Deliscioumoso!

 

Now here is where I need to issue a warning to anyone who reads this post or is witness to our performance of our duties in person....Remember, we are TRAINED PROFESSIONALS! My suggestion to anyone who has any ideas about trying what we do, such as using the professional language, or anything even remotely close to it, attempting to consume high quantities of sugary treats and then assume that you can, with any type of reasonable accuracy, determine in what order those treats should be ranked, rest assured you most likely will make yourself look like a fool! Leave that to us, the TRAINED PROFESSIONALS...we know how to do it right! ;) :P

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Titus,

 

I'm going to say.......

 

 

That was quite possibly the most eloquent speech I have ever read.

 

Tears are literally running down my face!

 

THANK YOU!

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I ain't heard so many wordy words since Schoolmarm got conked with a Thesaurus fallin' off the top shelf of the book case!!!

 

 

You fellers COULD get mistook fer polytishens!!! :rolleyes::wacko::o:lol::lol::lol:

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NAW!! Keep tawkin'! I'm getting' a heckuva ejimukation!! ;):lol::lol:

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Hey Jackalope!! Matthew will be back on drums this year!! Wait 'till y'all hear the band with two drummers!!

 

Whoa! You cloned Matthew?!? :huh:

 

Can't imagine anyone confusing me with a politician... :angry:

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YADA, YADA....

 

WooWee, that sure is supertasteadocious!

 

Tastylicious don't even come close to describin this'n!

 

Wow, I think I just had a tastegasm!

 

Slap yo grandma, I thank I just found my most flavoritastic one yet!

 

Deliscioumoso!

 

 

 

Wait til you hear some of the descriptive adjectives coming from the Beer/Alcohol Judging.

 

:lol:

 

Oh, that's right we're not supposed to swallow.

That'll happen, not.

 

 

Waimea

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Does guzzling count as swallowing? Desserts are OK, I guess, but booze is best! As the old saying goes,"Candy's dandy, but liquor's quicker".

 

Waimea, my fellow judge, I am in intense training for the alcohol judging.

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Did I forget to tell yall that Perfecto is also a judge. Hum, wonder what she'll say about the good ole boys dessert club! From what I'm a reading, sounds like yall are practicing for the tall tale contest. There will be a lady judge in each category, so's to make sure its all done correctly! And YES they are round, metal poles! Yall better get practicing, I might have to help judge the men's dancing!

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Does guzzling count as swallowing? Desserts are OK, I guess, but booze is best! As the old saying goes,"Candy's dandy, but liquor's quicker".

 

Waimea, my fellow judge, I am in intense training for the alcohol judging.

 

Barkeep provided something "Shine"-y to keep me from melting down before I get to Black Gold.

 

I put it behind glass with a hammer nearby in case of emergency.

The glass has come in danger several times in the last month as we are selling our house.

 

Pray for me.

 

Did I forget to tell yall that Perfecto is also a judge. Hum, wonder what she'll say about the good ole boys dessert club! From what I'm a reading, sounds like yall are practicing for the tall tale contest. There will be a lady judge in each category, so's to make sure its all done correctly! And YES they are round, metal poles! Yall better get practicing, I might have to help judge the men's dancing!

 

The Judges in the Beer guzzling/judging category are all gonna look great to each other as the night progresses. :lol:

Too bad Krazy Kajun isn't a judge, he could use all the help he could get. :P:lol:

 

So if Judge, Jackalope and Titus are judges in the cupcake category, another (female) judge will make 4.

That could lead to a tie.

What happens then?

Does the female judge get 2 votes?

Does Ironmaiden step in and cast the deciding vote?

Does she wake up a Beer judge and have one of them decide?

 

Inquiring minds must know.

 

 

Waimea

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Maiden; If you need a judge for the best hugs, I would gladly volunteer.....oh, what the hell, I'm gonna do it anyway and all the women are winners to me....lol.

 

KK

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Maiden; If you need a judge for the best hugs, I would gladly volunteer.....oh, what the hell, I'm gonna do it anyway and all the women are winners to me....lol.

 

KK

 

IM, I don't have any idea if KK is a 'Trained Professional' but if yer lookin fer somebody with lots of experience, you've found yer man! ;):P

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So if Judge, Jackalope and Titus are judges in the cupcake category, another (female) judge will make 4.

That could lead to a tie.

What happens then?

 

That's when the bribery comes into play. ;)

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From what I understand is IM nominated another judge for both contests but the governing body has refused to vote on any of them until after the election. :):):):)

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Governing body??? There is only anarchy and Copperhead!! The gooberment is not welcome at Black Gold!!!

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Kain't let this slip too far down!!

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O.K. then, Titus and Karl have the hugging jobs and of course, myself.

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Sat and talked with Maiden this weekend, just about had her talked into firing all the judges and starting over ^_^ but figured that might be too much work.

Dessert wars, appetizer wars, grill wars, lairs contest, couples shoot, Hillbilly Olympics, spelling bee, dance off, probably throw a bike ride in on Wednesday, not to mention we will also be shooting a match somewhere in there.

Dang, this one is going to be huge. Miss Bo said the apps were rolling in every day,

Is it July yet?

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Sat and talked with Maiden this weekend, just about had her talked into firing all the judges and starting over ^_^ but figured that might be too much work.

Dessert wars, appetizer wars, grill wars, lairs contest, couples shoot, Hillbilly Olympics, spelling bee, dance off, probably throw a bike ride in on Wednesday, not to mention we will also be shooting a match somewhere in there.

Dang, this one is going to be huge. Miss Bo said the apps were rolling in every day,

Is it July yet?

 

 

My sentimentals prezakly!!!

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O.K. then, Titus and Karl have the hugging jobs and of course, myself.

 

HOLY COW! Let's see....I'm a Dessert (Cupcake) War judge, I'm the "Smile Marshal", now I've been designated an official Hugger, and I'm gonna get to retire!

 

Please, if this is a dream, DON'T WAKE ME UP! :blink: If it's real, it's a DREAM COME TRUE! :D

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If you want me to step down as a judge IM, you just say the word.

 

Just because you will never be able to get 3 judges with impeccable taste and palettes to match us from the bunch of folks that will be there.

 

Since we have all 3 been certified by The World Culinary Institute we will not have any trouble selling our services to any number of other competitions.

 

As far as the judges that you have for the other contest , I can not speak of their capabilities. I hope they can do the job.

 

Since the dishonorable Tombstone wanted us FIRED, maybe you should just let him handle all the contest and render verdicts on each product.

Just make sure you do all of it before supper cause the alcohol will probably dilute his taste buds if it is done later.

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Now Judge, I did not say to fire you all. Just did not want you all to have to judge all the food contest and ruin your appetite that close to dinner.

 

I am pretty sure my "plate" will be full with plenty of other activities and besides I have never claimed that I could be an impartial judge. I do have some blind spots and weakness that could be exploited by some.

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...we have all 3 been certified...

 

There you have it. All three of us are certifiable.

 

:wacko:

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