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The Aussie Humour Thread


Buckshot Bear

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Rest of it looks pretty good!  A couple of eggs short…
 

What’s the red stuff??

 

 

Edited by Blackwater 53393
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1 minute ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

Tomato Sauce....Ketchup to you fellas

 

 

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None ‘o’ that for me, if ye please!

 

Maybe some hot sausage gravy??

 

I’ll have two orders please and a pitcher of iced sweet tea!!

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2 minutes ago, Blackwater 53393 said:


None ‘o’ that for me, if ye please!

 

Maybe some hot sausage gravy??

 

I’ll have two orders please and a pitcher of iced sweet tea!!

 

You'd have Buckley's chance of getting hot sausage gravy, and iced sweet tea in a pitcher? The waitress would now reckon that you must be a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but she would say "Wrap your laughing gear ‘round that" when she put your plate in front of you.

 

Oh, there would be a bottle of this on the table -

 

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I've heard of a lot of people that put ketchup on their eggs. Mostly scrambled eggs, not fried, but they put ketchup on their eggs. So that's not - TOO - off-putting.

 

But fried tomatoes for breakfast? I knew that was an English thing so I guess it shouldn't surprise me it's an Aussie thing, but it's a nasty thing.

 

You have a nice ripe red juicy tomato and you slice it. Then you put it on the plate and cut it up with the fork and eat it.

 

Fried tomatoes. Disgusting.

 

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25 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

You'd have Buckley's chance of getting hot sausage gravy, and iced sweet tea in a pitcher? The waitress would now reckon that you must be a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but she would say "Wrap your laughing gear ‘round that" when she put your plate in front of you.

 

Oh, there would be a bottle of this on the table -

 

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That and some cayenne peppers, a shot of cinnamon, some tomato sauce, a crushed habanero, a dollop of honey or molasses, and some coarse ground black pepper and you have a nice mild breakfast sauce!!

 

The fried tomatoes are a Southern States delicasy, but green ones are more traditional.  I eat ‘em occasionally, although I really prefer them fresh, cold, sliced thick, with coarse kosher salt.

 

I would explain that the pitcher of tea is simply to save my server several trips to my table and she could expect a good gratuity.

 

If I could get something similar to the sauce I described above, the gravy could be omitted.

 

Breakfast is my favorite meal and I have several, several versions that I frequently cook for myself or order at good restaurants!

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1 hour ago, Alpo said:

 

 

Fried tomatoes. Disgusting.

 

 

 A big breakfast without fried tomatoes?.....well it just wouldn't be a big breakkie!!!!!!

 

And you have to fry them till they start to burn and go a little black....I like 'em with salt, but a LOT of folks sprinkle sugar on fried tomatoes down here. 

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I didn't see any fried mushrooms in that picture. That's part of a traditional "full English breakfast". I think you got everything else there.

 

Do y'all do mushrooms for breakfast?

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1 minute ago, Alpo said:

I didn't see any fried mushrooms in that picture. That's part of a traditional "full English breakfast". I think you got everything else there.

 

Do y'all do mushrooms for breakfast?

 

For us mushrooms are more of a dinner thing, with steaks on the BBQ or a mixed grill.

 

Also....poms have baked beans with a full 'English'.

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Folks in “The South”, the southeastern part of the US, fry nearly EVERYTHING!!

 

I prefer my tomato fresh and raw, but I’ll eat a fried tomato now and then.

 

We seldom fry anything until it’s black. Deep golden brown is the preferred color of fried foods unless it’s a tempora batter. 
 

NOW! A lot of folks that live in Florida are not natural Southerners and many of them don’t ascribe to all of the southern delicacies!  
 

I love some mushrooms and onions sautéed and folded into an omelette with steak!

 

I’m partial to home fries, (similar to steak fries) but I ain’t fond of hash browns.

 

AND I LIKE SPICY!!
 

 

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22 minutes ago, sassnetguy50 said:

What do Australians call this?

tomato-sauce-30346.png

 

Tomato sauce in can......by saying 'can' that classifies as sauce for pasta ie -

 

If your wife said to you "bring home some tomato sauce from the shops" you would know she meant tomato sauce for pies, sausages etc etc as a condiment.

 

If your wife said to you "bring home a can (or tin) of tomato sauce from the shops" you'd know that you were having pasta for tea :) 

 

 

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54 minutes ago, Blackwater 53393 said:

F
 

I love some mushrooms and onions sautéed and folded into an omelette with steak!

 

 

 

 

Omelets.....a very underrated dish....I LOVE a good omelet!

 

And sautéed mushrooms, onions and bacon over steak.....heaven!

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A jumbo jet is just coming into the Sydney Airport on its final approach. The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Sydney. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Sydney."
He forgets to switch off the intercom, and the whole plane can hear his conversation with his co-pilot.
The copilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in Sydney?"
"Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap . . . then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge ta-tas out for dinner . . . . then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and put it to her big time all night long!"
Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the isles, trying to get a look at the new stewardess.
Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so embarrassed that she tries to run to the cockpit to turn the intercom off.
Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and falls on her face. The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gonna take a crap first."
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NOT MY MUM!!! Taken from elsewhere

 

My mum is bloody amazing and she is 80 yo. Around 6.30pm yesty arv she heard her new lil dog screaming. She went out to see what was going on? The carpet snake in the picture with her was coiled completely around her pup and had bitten the pup under the chin. Mum got bitten three times getting the snake off her pup. Mum then went next door and caught the snake so it could be taken out bush and hopefully not make its way back to her place. After a trip to the vets she got home around 9.30pm last night.

 

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