Funny stuff on aging

[Pat Riot]

Well, I guess if you saw this earlier you'd realize I got this in an email from a friend. DOH!

I'm getting to be that age:
I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses,
and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, "What brings
you in today?"
I looked at her, and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She
didn't quite know how to respond.

Am I getting to be that age?

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that
everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So I'm
wearing my garage door opener.

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have

something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and calling it “'Pumping Rust."

When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a
cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an
emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance.'

The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your
body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

*The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.*

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.⛄

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble..

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ' The' and ' IRS ' together
it spells 'Theirs...'

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about
age and start bragging about it.*

Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to
know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.*

Edited January 28, 2017 by Pat Riot, SASS #13748

[Dutch Wheeler]

I doubt that all those folks really want their emails listed on a public forum. You might want to edit them out of your original post.

[Pat Riot]

Thanks...Done...Man, just when you think you have a handle on technology...

[Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663]

Heck, I knew Dirt when it was still just a young rock.

[DocWard]

I don't think I'll ever forget the time my First Sergeant was talking about a Master Sergeant in our unit. "He provided far side security for Moses at the Red Sea."

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

Thanks...Done...Man, just when you think you have a handle on technology...

Technology has a handle? Who would have guessed?

[Tom Bullweed]

Yep Forty.

That comes from the first cavemen who took a rock for pounding and added handle to make an axe.

 

The latest version is the selfie stick.

[Buffalo Creek Law Dog]

When God said. "Let there be light" I was duty electrician.