Widder, SASS #59054 Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Ever wonder why a cold beer truck don't break down IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE? Ever see those commercials where a corporation (like an insurance company) advertises their 'low rates' and the ad shows a group of folks talking on the phone. All of them seem to be ENGLISH speaking Americans. Then when YOU call, somebody from a foreign country (or planet) picks up the phone. Go Figure! Why does Superman stand still when somebody is bouncing bullets off his chest but then he 'ducks' when they throw the empty pistol at him. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Campo Kid Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Ever wonder why a cold beer truck don't break down IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE? Ever see those commercials where a corporation (like an insurance company) advertises their 'low rates' and the ad shows a group of folks talking on the phone. All of them seem to be ENGLISH speaking Americans. Then when YOU call, somebody from a foreign country (or planet) picks up the phone. Go Figure! Why does Superman stand still when somebody is bouncing bullets off his chest but then he 'ducks' when they throw the empty pistol at him. ..........Widder See ya' at GOA, Kid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buck D. Law, SASS #62183 Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 I wonder what happens to the seeds in seedless watermelons? I sometimes can see where they used to be. And...I wonder when they advertise seedless watermelons, how do they know they're seedless when they haven't cut 'em open? And...I wonder what seedless watermelon seeds look like? The last time I had watermelon, I saved the seeds. Now I have watermelonless seeds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Hombre #23212 Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Why does Superman stand still when somebody is bouncing bullets off his chest but then he 'ducks' when they throw the empty pistol at him. Cause Superman collects fine old revolvers and would never let one get crushed against his chest. Although I did see him kick a Saturday night special all the way to Friday once!! BH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korupt Karl Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Why is it your keys are never where you left them? Why is it when you are looking for a standard screwdriver that all the screwdrivers in the drawer are philips? Why is it the thing you are looking for is in the last box? Your wife has acute hearing and can hear a pin drop or a whisper at 50 paces but can't hear you when you ask her to bring you a beer? Why are Widder, Duece, Max and Lassiter so damn fast and still can remain nice guys? KK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf Wind-Walker #36748 Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Om Widder..now ya got me a thinkin........... Why do Whales beach themselves,,,,,,,,,,,but Elephants never go out to sea.....??? The drive up money machine has "braile" on it......who's the blind driver....??? The sign on the Post Office door..say's......."No dogs allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs".........who reads it..the blind person or the Seeing Eye dog....?? Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway.....? Best regards..........Wolf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf Wind-Walker #36748 Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Oh.....oh...oh....Widder.........are you ready for this one..........????? drum roll please......... If "pro" is the opposite of "con", is "progress" the opposite of "Congress".........???? WWW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Buffalo Chip, SASS #64713 Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Hell, I can't top that one. Good one WWW. WBC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Scatterbrain Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Are the doorbell and telephone somehow connected to the bathroom door? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yusta B. Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 If they make corn oil from corn and cotton seed oil from cotton seeds and olive oil from olives, what do they make baby oil from ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunner Gatlin, SASS 10274L Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Some say 'why'...I say 'why not' GG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooting Bull Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Question #1: Why is it when I darn near kill myself trying to shoot a stage as fast as possible I end up with a 45+ second raw time a 2+ misses yet when I just relax and let things happen I can be sub 20 seconds and clean? Question #2: Why can't I remember #1 during a match? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Question #1: Why is it when I darn near kill myself trying to shoot a stage as fast as possible I end up with a 45+ second raw time a 2+ misses yet when I just relax and let things happen I can be sub 20 seconds and clean? Question #2: Why can't I remember #1 during a match? I wonder about: Where I left my coffee cup. The name of that actor I've seen in a hunnert cowboy movies. When is a new Mythbusters going to be on. How do you program this stupid dvd recorder. Where I left my truck keys. Did I change the oil in the snowblower already? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Scatterbrain Posted August 8, 2011 Share Posted August 8, 2011 Question #1: Why is it when I darn near kill myself trying to shoot a stage as fast as possible I end up with a 45+ second raw time a 2+ misses yet when I just relax and let things happen I can be sub 20 seconds and clean? Confucius say: slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Montana, SASS #23907 Posted August 8, 2011 Share Posted August 8, 2011 What's the purpose of an expiration date on Sour Cream? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrimstoneJerome Posted August 8, 2011 Share Posted August 8, 2011 When is my boomerang gonna stop acting like a stick when I throw it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin O Lawman,SASS#7672 Posted August 8, 2011 Share Posted August 8, 2011 How does a one armed man wash his good arm ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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