Red Logan #12252 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Texas Declares War on the USA President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. "Hello, President Obama" a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Archie, down here at Joes Crab Shack, Houston Texas , I am callin' to tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on ya!" "Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!" Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Wow," said Archie. "I'll have to call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor." President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke." "Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya." Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day... "President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harold's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!" Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" "Oh Lord," said Archie, "l'll have to call you back." Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war." "I'm surprised to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?" Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners.." TEXAS CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN GOD BLESS TEXAS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Ears Wilson, SASS #77948 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunner Gatlin, SASS 10274L Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Wish we all had a direct line to the president LOL!~ GG ~ USA flag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Hand Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Wish we all had a direct line to the president LOL!~ GG ~ USA flag Try BR-549 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apache Hawk 60642 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 As my Daddy wood say, "Us Texicans have attidues as big as Texas !!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunner Gatlin, SASS 10274L Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Try BR-549 ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. James H. Callahan Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 ? Guess Gunner wasn't a Hee Haw fan. . JHC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumpy Old Man Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Maybe he's too young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Now I have the sudden urge to sing "Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Me..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Logan #12252 Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 Well, now ya have it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mack Hacker, #60477 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 deleted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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