Cactus Jack Calder

As I was walking through the woods, a pretty kitty I saw, but when I went to pick it up, it weren’t no kitty at all.

Mostly Long Leaf Pines, some Post Oak. I am told the pines are an inheritance from the CCC and the Great Depression. Reforestation of stripped farm land that was depleted of nutrients. The Oaks are native scrub oak that were commonly cut for fence posts, hence the name. I have enjoyed 14 years of yellow spring weather here in the Sandhills. The people are friendly and treat us relocated Yankees as wayward dim witted relatives. “Bless our hearts.” They even started a town just for us ‘Cary’ (Containment Area for Relocated Yankees). Somehow my wife and I escaped and settled in Whispering Pines,

Right now in The Sandhills of North Carolina there are clouds of pollen blowing through my neighborhood. The sky is hazy and everything outside is yellow. I have a Gray CR-V that is solid yellow. With a little rain it turns into a pasty mess that hardens in all the grooves and cracks of everything. Thank goodness I’m not allergic. CJ

Alpo, you probably do not have to fuss with breaking into the box. Most of the ones I’ve seen are open in the back. All you need is a good pry bar to rip it off the surface where it is mounted. Unless you can mount it so we’ll that it can’t be pried loose it is really only good to keep “honest” people honest. CJ

Q: How can you tell if an Elephant has been in your refrigerator? A: Look for his tracks in the Cheesecake! Q: Who was Purple and conquered the known world? A: Alexander the Grape! I remember these from eons ago. I am vewy vewy olt! CJ

Of course they are not good for you, that’s why they taste so good! CJ

Prayers for a complete recovery.

My Grandparents moved to Florida when I was 6. Grandpa built a small grove of varied citrus trees on his property. He had three lime trees, why so many I don’t know. He would give us 4-5 bushels of limes every summer when we visited. The limes road home in the bottom of a wooden boat on a trailer. We had Lime Meringue Pie until late fall. Not Key Lime, Lime Meringue pie. It was great and I miss it. It was better than Lemon Meringue IMO. CJ

Oh tell me said the thousand legged jigger. Has anybody seen a leg of mine? For if it can’t be found, I’ll have to hop around, On the other nine hundred ninety nine. Dad used to sing that to us if we got all wound up about something inconsequential. I can sing it but I can’t tell you the tune. It always seemed as if he had a million of those little ditties. CJ

My wife and I chaperoned the church youth group to Six Flags in NJ. Most of the day was pleasant but late afternoon there was rain and the park emptied. The kids weren’t ready to give it up so we stayed. Roy Orbison was scheduled to perform and we weren’t sure he’d show because of the rain and poor attendance. Probably less the 80 spectators in the audience and he put on the full show just as if the arena was jammed. The only difference on his part was that he interacted with the folks directly, taking requests after his regular show. He did some repeats that were requested even though they’d

1937 Buick In 1947 my father purchased a new to us, 1937 Buick in basic black with a big hump back trunk and two flat panes of safety glass for the front windshield. This automobile had very little mileage on it and maybe 30 lbs of chicken manure. The farmer who bought it new had passed away shortly after the purchase and his wife didn’t drive. So it was parked in the barn to keep it safe. The chickens had free range of the barn. Fortunately the windows had been left closed so the upholstery was clean. The chicken manure had a strange effect on the car’s paint. There were small areas

That’s Baptist for “You gunna DIE!” I aughta know I was drug up one. CJ