If only I were younger.....

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

I ate breakfast at one of my favorite spots this morning.  A few minutes after I got served a young Oriental man and two really lovely ladies sat down across from me, one next to him the other across the table.   They were having fun and being friendly with every one who passed by.

 

I finished my meal and as I got up I commented that "you know, life is unfair".  I told the young man "It doesn't seem right that you have two and I don't have any."

 

He grinned and put his arm around the girl beside him and told me "Well this one is mine but you can have the other one.  She's my sister."

 

"His" elbowed him in the ribs but the "sister" stood up beside me and said "I'll go with you sir, if you promise to make an honest woman (antique phrase) of me and don't ever have to admit that he is my brother."

 

"His pushed him out of the way and stood on my other side.  "I don't like the way he claimed me as 'mine' so I'll go with you, too."

 

The people in the cafe were getting in on it by now, laughing and having a good time making suggestions and cheering me on.

 

This dude looked like he'd peed on an electric fence and started apologizing, but the crowd wouldn't let it go.  They were all over him.

 

Finally "His" said that she had a lot invested in him because they were married and the kids would need a daddy, so she'd back out of the mix.

 

"Sister" was known by a lady in the crowd who suggested that she had better check with her mother because this boy needed looking after and Mom couldn't spare any more time, what with grandkids coming.

 

I stepped back and thanked the ladies for accepting my offer (I didn't remind them that I hadn't made any offer) and that at my age it was the best acceptance of any offer I'd had in years. 

 

We were all cheered and as I left I paid for their breakfasts.

 

 If I were sixty years younger and single.........  HUH, my soon to be wife would have killed me in front of all those witnesses!!!  

 

Life isn't perfect, but Mother Nature showed us that she has a sense of humor and it made my day. 

 

Sometimes life is just plain fun!

[Texas Lizard]

You are Mormon...Don't they believe in more than one wife??  Or did they stop that???

 

Should have asked my cousins....Got about a 100 or more that Mormon...Can't keep up with all of them...Kinda like rabbits....

 

Texas Lizard

[Subdeacon Joe]

Sounds like you still have the ability to enjoy the moment!  Good for you. 

 

Once at the Marine's Memorial Hotel in San Francisco (Dad was a member and had gotten a family guest card for me) my wife and I got onto the elevator to go up to the restaurant for dinner.   Four ladies who seemed to be slightly tipsy,  like two pre-prandial drinks,  also got on.  They eyed me and were making suggestions and invitations.  I looked them over and said,  "Oysters.  Lots of oysters!"  Which sent them and my wife into fits of laughter.   

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

Stopped that in 1896 to be able to gain statehood from a government that didn't understand that  the Bill of Rights prohibited government interfering with religious practice.

 

There are some fake "Mormons" who are not, and never have been recognized by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and never will be.  They are mostly up in northern Arizona on the Utah border.  I doubt that are more than a few thousand of them at most, and they are in trouble with the law over many things. Polygamy, child marriages, taxes, forcing people  who want to leave their "church" to stay by using force and threats, etc.

 

They do have some of the best baked goods on the planet and I'm told their common produce is unbeatable.

 

A lot of uneducated and / or anti-Mormon people try to use that against the real LDS church.

 

There is your history lesson.  There will be a test on Friday.

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

1 hour ago, Texas Lizard said:

You are Mormon...Don't they believe in more than one wife??  Or did they stop that???

 

Should have asked my cousins....Got about a 100 or more that Mormon...Can't keep up with all of them...Kinda like rabbits....

 

Texas Lizard

BTW, I had a bunk mate in 'Nam who was from backwoods Arkansas.   We had 6, 8, 10 and 12 hole lean-to latrines ("Heads" for the Navy and Marines among you.  Powder Rooms for the Air Force pogues amongst you).   He'd been in country about a week when I found him leaning on the rail around the second deck of the barracks just staring at our 10 holer.  I asked what was going on.  He said "back home an outhouse that big was owned by rich folks, Catholics, or Mormons."  

[Widder, SASS #59054]

Just be glad it was his 'SISTER' and not his 'Brother'....... 

 

..........Widder

 

 

[Texas Lizard]

11 minutes ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:

 Powder Rooms for the Air Force pogues amongst you...

I was Air Force.....Fixed bombing radar on B-52s...Got to get them nukes in the right place...

 

Texas Lizard

[Tex Wilson]

Hey Forty, what was the restaurant you had breakfast at?  You never cause a ruckus like that during our Thursday morning breakfasts at Zekes.

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

2 hours ago, Tex Wilson said:

Hey Forty, what was the restaurant you had breakfast at?  You never cause a ruckus like that during our Thursday morning breakfasts at Zekes.

Have you really looked at the crowd at Zeke's?  Most are crusty old guys and the women worth any attention are almost always hanging out with one of them.

 

Besides, I have a little girlfriend about the size of the one you sent along the picture of.

[PowderRiverCowboy]

21 hours ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:

Stopped that in 1896 to be able to gain statehood from a government that didn't understand that  the Bill of Rights prohibited government interfering with religious practice.

 

There are some fake "Mormons" who are not, and never have been recognized by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and never will be.  They are mostly up in northern Arizona on the Utah border.  I doubt that are more than a few thousand of them at most, and they are in trouble with the law over many things. Polygamy, child marriages, taxes, forcing people  who want to leave their "church" to stay by using force and threats, etc.

 

They do have some of the best baked goods on the planet and I'm told their common produce is unbeatable.

 

A lot of uneducated and / or anti-Mormon people try to use that against the real LDS church.

 

There is your history lesson.  There will be a test on Friday.

 

 

I was going to say you could move up to Colorado City

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

4 hours ago, PowderRiverCowboy said:

 

 

I was going to say you could move up to Colorado City

No.............I couldn't.

 

I'd kill someone in the first week.