Australian Etiquette

[Buckshot Bear]

IN GENERAL
1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
3. It's tacky to take an esky to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your 4x4 and trailer to the funeral.

 

DINING OUT
1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.

 

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.

 

PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN 4x4 keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewellery.

 

DATING
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since all my mates told me about you."
3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 11:00 PM, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school or work on time.

 

THEATRE ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

 

WEDDINGS
1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of place)
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. Tracksuit pants with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.

 

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight.
2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest bull bar doesn't always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

 

If you can't see what's so funny about the above and decide to follow the suggestions given, you could be a redneck

[Pat Riot]

39 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.

Since I too am a redneck I pretty grasped all these suggestions and learned a few fo-paws that I may have or may not have committed, but what the heck does number one mean?

[Buckshot Bear]

2 minutes ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

Since I too am a redneck I pretty grasped all these suggestions and learned a few fo-paws that I may have or may not have committed, but what the heck does number one mean?

 

A stubby is a smaller sized beer bottle, compared to a long neck.

 

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

     ...... ( and VB is nearly as bad as Fosters ) .........

 

 

 

 

 

   .did I say that out loud ?  

[Buckshot Bear]

9 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

     ...... ( and VB is nearly as bad as Fosters ) .........

 

 

 

 

 

   .did I say that out loud ?  

 

Written in stone now for all eternity Wallaby

 

[Charlie Harley, #14153]

1 hour ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

Since I too am a redneck I pretty grasped all these suggestions and learned a few fo-paws that I may have or may not have committed, but what the heck does number one mean?

I thought it might mean the same as a “blunt”.

[Pat Riot]

1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

A stubby is a smaller sized beer bottle, compared to a long neck.

 

So, a closed stubby is okay then? 

 

Thanks for the explanation. 

[Buckshot Bear]

1 hour ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

So, a closed stubby is okay then? 

 

Thanks for the explanation. 

 

LOL....not for any job interview I ever went to Pat   

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

6 hours ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

So, a closed stubby is okay then? 

 

Thanks for the explanation. 

Be polite, bring one for the interviewer too.

[Tex Jones, SASS 2263]

Rules to live by.