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Another TN Williams story: Honest Witness


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The ole boy just can't stay outa trouble.   And this time, it was because he was trying to tell the

truth and the Judge and DA didn't like how he was answering questions.

 

Anyhow, here's the story I got from the  Bucksnort Criminal Court Clerk, Edweena Smellfunkas:

 

TN Williams had been subpoenaed to testify about a body he happened upon in the woods while

riding his ATV.    He was testifying FOR the DA but during

his time on the witness stand, he just about got cited for Contempt of Court. 

 

Now the story:

 

The DA ask TN:   When you first saw and examined the body,  did you have any indication the

deceased was dead and had been murdered?

 

TN:  YES!

 

DA:  And what do you base your answer on?

 

TN:   Your question.

 

and that's when things went south for ole TN.   You can imagine TN trying to convince the Judge he was only

answering the DA's question as truthful as he could.   He was almost cited for Contempt of Court but

the Judge had heard about TN and felt sorry for him (and his loved ones).  

They dismissed him as a witness.......and then suspended his ATV riding privileges for 90 days..... :lol:

 

Hey, these stories ya just don't make em up.   True stuff.

 

..........Widder

 

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It got really awkward when he was told he must answer every question “orally.”

 

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

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He aint no good for a witness. He can be bought for a Nanner Split, and he wears that medal for the liars contest around his neck like bling. And thats my story and Im sticking to it.

 

Imis

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If you don't tell about my chicken encounter, I won't tell about you lowering your

American flag to half-mast when 'Gomer, your pet goat. died.

 

..........Widder

 

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3 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Did Gomer leave little Gomer piles everywhere?

 

It obvious you've heard about TN Williams even up in New Hampshire..... :lol:

 

HINT:  The methane gas he uses to heat his house doesn't all come from Nanner Splits..... :o

 

..........Widder

 

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Right after light was invented back when Widder was just a pup, his maw kept a bunch of chickens to keep the ticks down and food on the table. Widder had the task of feeding the chickens and helping Maw Widder gather eggs.

    Now he was at that age where he went everywhere nekkid and chickens ain't that smart. The last time he fed a chicken it got confused and munched on some mini-widder. Next time any of yall set at the table with him to eat some chicken, watch him real close. He can't even look at a piece of fried chicken without crossing his legs.

     As for gathering eggs, Maw Widder had a knack for coaxing chickens into laying eggs one after another. What she did was take a butcher knife with her in the hen house. When one of the hens didn't have an egg for her, she'd chop it right there and cook it for dinner. Them chickens would sometimes have 2 or 3 waiting for her. Of course, those hens seeing Widder all the time obviously made them crooked. Sometimes a hen would catch another one with her head turned and steal her egg and sit on it like she laid it. You can't blame the hen though, they learned it from Widder.

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There ya go again.....living up to your reputation of being one of the biggest liars in Tennessee.

 

Maw Widder never kilt a chicken just for dinner.   Sometimes, she'd cook it for breakfast.

 

..........Widder

 

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