Widder, SASS #59054 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 The ole boy just can't stay outa trouble. And this time, it was because he was trying to tell the truth and the Judge and DA didn't like how he was answering questions. Anyhow, here's the story I got from the Bucksnort Criminal Court Clerk, Edweena Smellfunkas: TN Williams had been subpoenaed to testify about a body he happened upon in the woods while riding his ATV. He was testifying FOR the DA but during his time on the witness stand, he just about got cited for Contempt of Court. Now the story: The DA ask TN: When you first saw and examined the body, did you have any indication the deceased was dead and had been murdered? TN: YES! DA: And what do you base your answer on? TN: Your question. and that's when things went south for ole TN. You can imagine TN trying to convince the Judge he was only answering the DA's question as truthful as he could. He was almost cited for Contempt of Court but the Judge had heard about TN and felt sorry for him (and his loved ones). They dismissed him as a witness.......and then suspended his ATV riding privileges for 90 days..... Hey, these stories ya just don't make em up. True stuff. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 It got really awkward when he was told he must answer every question “orally.” Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 He aint no good for a witness. He can be bought for a Nanner Split, and he wears that medal for the liars contest around his neck like bling. And thats my story and Im sticking to it. Imis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Widder, you're working on next months liars award already! Now that's dedication. Just wait til I get back from shootin today. I'm gonna fill everybody in on your first encounter with chickens.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted March 7, 2020 Author Share Posted March 7, 2020 If you don't tell about my chicken encounter, I won't tell about you lowering your American flag to half-mast when 'Gomer, your pet goat. died. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Just now, Widder, SASS #59054 said: If you don't tell about my chicken encounter, I won't tell about you lowering your American flag to half-mast when 'Gomer, your pet goat. died. ..........Widder Did Gomer leave little Gomer piles everywhere? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted March 7, 2020 Author Share Posted March 7, 2020 3 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: Did Gomer leave little Gomer piles everywhere? It obvious you've heard about TN Williams even up in New Hampshire..... HINT: The methane gas he uses to heat his house doesn't all come from Nanner Splits..... ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted March 9, 2020 Share Posted March 9, 2020 Right after light was invented back when Widder was just a pup, his maw kept a bunch of chickens to keep the ticks down and food on the table. Widder had the task of feeding the chickens and helping Maw Widder gather eggs. Now he was at that age where he went everywhere nekkid and chickens ain't that smart. The last time he fed a chicken it got confused and munched on some mini-widder. Next time any of yall set at the table with him to eat some chicken, watch him real close. He can't even look at a piece of fried chicken without crossing his legs. As for gathering eggs, Maw Widder had a knack for coaxing chickens into laying eggs one after another. What she did was take a butcher knife with her in the hen house. When one of the hens didn't have an egg for her, she'd chop it right there and cook it for dinner. Them chickens would sometimes have 2 or 3 waiting for her. Of course, those hens seeing Widder all the time obviously made them crooked. Sometimes a hen would catch another one with her head turned and steal her egg and sit on it like she laid it. You can't blame the hen though, they learned it from Widder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted March 9, 2020 Author Share Posted March 9, 2020 There ya go again.....living up to your reputation of being one of the biggest liars in Tennessee. Maw Widder never kilt a chicken just for dinner. Sometimes, she'd cook it for breakfast. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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