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Subdeacon Joe

The Perfect Political Speech

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The Whiskey Speech

Delivered by the late Noah S. “Soggy” Sweat, Jr.,

former Mississippi legislator, lawyer and judge, in 1952 when

the Mississippi Legislature was considering legalizing liquor.

 

 

“My friends, I had not intended to discuss this controversial subject at this particular time. However, I want you to know that I do not shun controversy. On the contrary, I will take a stand on any issue at any time, regardless of how fraught with controversy it might be. You have asked me how I feel about whiskey. All right, here is how I feel about whiskey.

If when you say whiskey, you mean the devil’s brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean the evil drink that topples the Christian man and woman from the pinnacle of righteous, gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation and despair and shame and helplessness and hopelessness – then certainly I am against it.

But if, when you say whiskey, you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and laughter on their lips and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer; if you mean the stimulating drink that puts the spring in the old gentleman’s step on a frosty, crispy morning; if you mean the drink which enables a man to magnify his joy and his happiness and to forget, if only for a little while, life’s great tragedies and heartaches and sorrows; if you mean the drink the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars which are used to provide tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our pitiful aged and infirm, to build highways and hospitals and schools, then certainly I am for it.

This is my stand, and I will not compromise.”

 

http://www.bettertransportation.org/2004_retreat/whiskey_speech.pdf

 

 

And a recreation of that speech:

 

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Well said! I raise my whiskey glass and give him a toast. The whiskey that is the oil of conversation and all that, of course.

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Supposedly that took him two months to write. I can believe it. To get the polemic rhetoric just right takes time and thought. A true masterpiece this is.

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Supposedly that took him two months to write. I can believe it. To get the polemic rhetoric just right takes time and thought. A true masterpiece this is.

 

Masterpeice of speaking from both sides of the mouth :lol:

 

GG ~ :FlagAm:

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THANKS! I have been looking for this since 1984, when I first heard it!

 

 

Salud!

eGG

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THANKS! I have been looking for this since 1984, when I first heard it!

 

 

Salud!

eGG

 

 

You mean I did something useful????

 

Oh, the shame!

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... if you mean the drink the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars which are used to provide tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our pitiful aged and infirm, to build highways and hospitals and schools, then certainly I am for it.

 

Even then he understood that the hypocrisy of the government knows no bounds.

 

On the one hand they pass laws against drinking (and smoking) in public, embark on all kinds of programs and campaigns to get people to stop using, and at the same time have their hand in the till to collect tax revenues to spend on themselves and pet projects.

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Even then he understood that the hypocrisy of the government knows no bounds.

 

On the one hand they pass laws against drinking (and smoking) in public, embark on all kinds of programs and campaigns to get people to stop using, and at the same time have their hand in the till to collect tax revenues to spend on themselves and pet projects.

 

Can I get an AMEN, brothers and sisters? :D

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Can I get an AMEN, brothers and sisters? :D

 

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!

 

GG ~ :FlagAm:

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AMAZING!

 

All politics reduced to a comprehensive, all-encompassing, and completely understandable 300+ words.

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