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Joke 'um

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    Colorado River Shootists

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    Yuma, Arizona

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  1. If women are to be included in any elite program, the standards must be lowered. Many, many otherwise outstanding male applicants have been turned down for this duty for being too short. Women want in? Just lower the standards. 12% body fat required? Make it 24% so women can play. 1.5 mile run time of 12 minutes needed? We'll just make that 24 so everyone has a chance. On and on it goes. Lower standards to make everybody equally outstanding. Tomb guards are supposed to be intimidating, physically imposing individuals. "You dare not violate this place." "You will be respectful." Tourists and foriegn visitors must be awed. The sentries enforce order. They are not toy soldiers on display. "Good enough" is not! Just wait for the flaps about maternity outfits. Proudly "behind the times." The "everybody's the same" emperor has no clothes.
  2. Sickening. The Tomb deserves real guards, the nation's best, not tiny people with big guns trained to act like soldiers. Just because they can, doesn't mean they should.
  3. 24 is divisible by 2, 3, 4, 6, 8 and 12. 25 is only divisible by 5. The boys want yo be able to split the profits evenly. They are English.
  4. "I don't actually sleep with her. I leave $20 on the night stand and leave quietly."
  5. So, I didn't forget where I left it, I just lost the cells that remembered? Definitely not my fault.
  6. Some enterprising naval architect is designing an icebreaking whaler, even as this is written.
  7. About time! Any firearms, or related, manufacturers staying in a "blue" state are cutting their own throat and feeding the beast that is killing them.
  8. The "official" meaning: FooFoo (FuFu) - Externally applied aroma enhancement tending to make the wearer "smell like a French whore." - most frequently used on ships experiencing a water shortage or immediately prior to "liberty for the crew" announcements.
  9. All time top 10 movie. If you're looking for movies to mirror your concept of pure history, you'll have to stick to Star Wars, which are 100% accurate.
  10. Penguins have wings, but can't fly. Leftovers from evolution, like a liberal's brain.
  11. There are tame grizzlies on TV shows and movies. Circus performers tame lions and tigers. Arnold was a tame pig on Green Acres. However, a large percentage of attempts to tame these creatures seem to end in soiled carpets or serious bodily injury. While scars do make for interesting conversations years later, racoons would probably hold similar disappointments.
  12. Just bought a new M9. Still great pistols. Gun rags? Don't think they set the agenda these days. Most publicity today is just someone attempting to sell their latest polymer imitation (except, its better and new!) Glock. Never fear. 92 is still wondermous.
  13. Two 45acp pistols? Get two Glocks. Gen 5 Model 21's (ambi slide stop, reversible mag catch) would do the job nicely and probably cost less, for both, than a decent 1911. Also, they work.
  14. Install an eccentric lobe on the motor so the machine vibrates. Then, substitute ground corn cob for the steel pins. I think you'll really have something. An additional benifit is, you don't have to count the cob grains. Bon chance.
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