Brother King, SASS #69031 Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 "World Terrorism Alert Levels" by John Cleese The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels . The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level. -- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 How are ya King? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother King, SASS #69031 Posted July 20, 2011 Author Share Posted July 20, 2011 good, Grizz... in TX... HOT HOT HOT. Green Mountain Regulators shoot this weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunner Gatlin, SASS 10274L Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 GG ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 It is little known, but the Scots do have an intermediate level, "Bugger off!" But, since it is also used as a war warning to their adversaries it slides into "Let's get the bastards!" almost unnoticed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 good, Grizz... in TX... HOT HOT HOT. Green Mountain Regulators shoot this weekend. Been hot and humid here too. Probably not as hot as Texas, but still too dang hot for me. Travel safe amigo. Grizz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 It is little known, but the Scots do have an intermediate level, "Bugger off!" But, since it is also used as a war warning to their adversaries it slides into "Let's get the bastards!" almost unnoticed. That's as funny as the OP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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