Home Security

[Subdeacon Joe]

Stolen from a Facebook friend.

 

The older we get the wiser we become........

We've disconnected our home alarm system and quit our ineffective Neighborhood Watch. Bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center.

Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7.

I've never felt safer and we're saving $99.95 a month.

 

[Wolfgang, SASS #53480]

[Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967]

Wouldn't work in Colorado...

 

 

'Hello, is this the Police Office?'

'Yes. What can I do for you?'

'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Jack Murphy... He's hidin' Marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there..'

'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'

The next day, twelve Police Officers descend on Jack's house. They Search the shed where the firewood is kept.

Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Jack and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Jack's house.

'Hey, Jack! This here's Floyd....Did the Police come?'

'Yeah!'

'Did they split yer firewood?'

'Yep!'

'Happy Birthday, buddy!'

[Trailrider #896]

And even if they had found the weed, in Colorado, they wouldn't have done anything to "Jack".

[Presidio]

The topic name is a contradiction in terms..............IMNSHO