Alpo

There's a country song called Redneck Woman. One line says, "I leave my Christmas lights up all year long". Yep. That works. Just don't turn them on in the summer.

I was thinking Dago Red - cheap homemade red Italian wine.

In The Patriot - Mel Gibson revolutionary War movie - they sewed Heath Ledger into a cloth sack before putting him in bed with the girl. They referred to it as a bundling bag. I wondered at the time if that was a real thing, or if they came up with that for the movie because they figured nobody would understand what a bundling board was.

Good googly mooglies. Amazon has it. Four jars for $33. That's $8 and a quarter a jar. For two and a half ounces of meat. Walmart has it for $14.50 a jar. Or you can get the four pack for $34. So it's a dollar cheaper to get the four pack at Amazon. I had no idea that this stuff was made of Kobe beef tenderloin. 14.50 a jar is $93 and change a pound.

That anything like a bundling board? I used to know this old guy that answered the phone with, "Your nickel".

The last time was in 1969. My grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. We weren't going to go, because that's a long way. But then Camille was supposed to make landfall in our town, so Daddy decided we needed to go to LA. Sun City, actually. That, by the way, is why I decided never to evacuate from a hurricane. We left out in the early afternoon. Camille was supposed to hit our town the next morning. We spent the night in some little bitty town in Mississippi. The way Daddy did road trips is we would get up at 3:00 in the morning, pack and hit the road. Travel for a couple hours, then pull off somewhere for breakfast. While we were eating breakfast the morning rush was going on as people were going to work. Then we would stop about 3:00 in the afternoon. Before the evening rush. Mama and Daddy could relax, while we kids played in the motel playground or the pool. Great way to do long distance road trips. So at 3:30 the next morning we are on the road headed west. And at 7:00 the next morning Camille blew that itty bitty town in Mississippi off the map. So there ain't no sense in evacuating. If the hurricane wants you, it will chase you.

When I walk the dog I carry a cane. I don't have trouble walking but sometimes I have trouble standing, so three legs works better than two. And then when I am picking up after the dog, I use the cane to support myself as I lean over. The cane comes in real damn handy on ice-coated concrete. Without the cane, I have one foot on a solid spot and I'm reaching out with my other foot hoping where I put it will be solid, and if it's slippery I'm either going down or I'm going to turn myself into a wishbone. With the cane I keep both feet on dry solid and reach around trying to find some place that's not slippery. Very handy item. Although I've been thinking about an alpenstock lately.

A sign posted by the San Francisco Police Department. PREVENT THEFT LOCK YOUR CAR TAKE YOUR KEYS HIDE YOUR BELONGINGS Fill a decoy purse with thousands of angry poisonous bees

Two guys are standing next to a car. They got a slim Jim. They are trying desperately to get the door unlocked because they have locked the keys in the car. The rear seat window is plastic and duct tape. Maybe that's how they got in the last time?

For when Wallaby gets a little too much into his cups.

For those that don't do Facebook, here is that Facebook clip on YouTube.

Dave, Dave, Dave. The man's name is Eric. I know George Moody so I wondered about that, but they say that his name is Eric in that clip.

Y'all are getting a little too involved in this answer. I was thinking about sprinkling table salt on the ice right outside the front door so I wouldn't slip as I was going out of the house. That's all. Not going to go buy anything. Use salt I already have. But I didn't did it and it has all melted away. Well, not all of it but a lot of it is melted away so I can now get in and out without risking busting my butt. But I was just curious as to whether the salt would melt the ice or make the ice less slippery. I certainly wasn't going to drive on it. Christmas of 89 was the last time it snowed here. And it snowed for a couple of days and it stayed for about a week. Since we didn't have salt they put down dirt. That gave you a little better traction, until the sun came out and the ice melted and the dirt turned into mud and then that night it froze again and it was slipperier than the plain ice had been.

Tomorrow is Robbie Burns Day Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face, Great Chieftain o’ the Puddin-race! Aboon them a’ ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy of a grace As lang ‘s my arm. The groaning trencher there ye fill, Your hurdies like a distant hill, Your pin wad help to mend a mill In time o’ need, While thro’ your pores the dews distil Like amber bead. His knife see Rustic-labour dight, An’ cut ye up wi’ ready slight, Trenching your gushing entrails bright, Like onie ditch; And then, O what a glorious sight, Warm-reekin, rich! Then, horn for horn, they stretch an’ strive: Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive, Till a’ their weel-swall’d kytes belyve Are bent like drums; Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive, Bethankit hums. Is there that owre his French ragout, Or olio that wad staw a sow, Or fricassee wad mak her spew Wi’ perfect sconner, Looks down wi’ sneering, scornfu’ view On sic a dinner? Poor devil! see him owre his trash, As feckless as a wither’d rash, His spindle shank a guid whip-lash, His nieve a nit; Thro’ bluidy flood or field to dash, O how unfit! But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed, The trembling earth resounds his tread, Clap in his walie nieve a blade, He’ll make it whissle; An’ legs, an’ arms, an’ heads will sned, Like taps o’ thrissle. Ye Pow’rs wha mak mankind your care, And dish them out their bill o’ fare, Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware That jaups in luggies; But, if ye wish her gratefu’ prayer, Gie her a Haggis!

I got an idea. I will describe the funny picture. Y'all use your imagination. It's a drinking cup. It has a picture on it of Batman. It has a care label. Apparently putting it in the dishwasher will wash the picture away. HAND WASH ONLY SPANISH HAND WASH ONLY FRENCH HAND WASH ONLY

For Luke from Papa. I like that.

That's one of the most intelligent things I've heard lately.

Yesterday morning when I walked outside there was an inch and a half thick layer of ice on the driveway in front of the front door. Almost hit the ground. Yesterday afternoon I went out to check the mail and it was still there. So I got a shovel and I busted a bunch of it up and throwed it off into the grass. And then I cleared me a path to the dry driveway. I even cleared some the other direction - I have a circular drive. But of course, there was water underneath that layer of ice, and when the temperature dropped down to 22 last night, the water turned into new ice. And again, when I went out this morning to drain the dog, I about hit the ground. It occurred to me that I have heard that up north they put salt on the roads when they're covered with ice. So my question. Is the salt supposed to melt the ice? Or does it stick to the top of the ice and give traction? Y'all may notice those pictures, which were just taking at 1:30 in the afternoon, are in full shadow. Sun's on the wrong side of the house. So I'm assuming that tomorrow morning there's going to be another sheet of ice out there. Which prompted my wonder about the salt.

So the whole world celebrates your wedding anniversary. That's cool.

I like the way Packrat's getting along. At first he was his normal obnoxious self, and Grandma hit him on the head with a wooden spoon. Now he's polite. Couldn't believe they had gone back in time until Grandma was making cookies one day and he was all - What do you mean you never heard of chocolate chip?? Then while Grandpa and Doc are butchering the moose, grandma asked him if he was sure he didn't want a steak. If he really wanted a hamburger? https://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb4176.png https://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb4177.png They be inventing all sorts of new things.

I don't see his problem with pineapple on pizza, though. One Thanksgiving he made an apple pie on the grill. Or maybe it was in the smoker - it's been a few years.

Really? Second panel. Great grandma says that she does not have the mozzarella or pepperoni, and could substitutions work. And Doc says that without those two ingredient, might as well put pineapple on it.