Chantry Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 Low Condition (Green) This condition is in effect when there is a low risk of idiots. An occasional idiot, but no more than normal. Guarded Condition (Blue) This condition is in effect when there are an increased number of idiots shopping. More than normal, will result in infrequent cursing. Elevated Condition (Yellow) An Elevated Condition is declared when there is a significant risk of running into idiots when shopping. Results in a steady (but not constant) stream of curses and an occasional dirty look. High Condition (Orange) A High Condition is declared when there is a high risk of running into not only the idiots, but their significant other and their screaming spawn. Constant cursing and frequent dirty looks will occur. Severe Condition (Red) A Severe Condition reflects an extreme risk of running into idiots, their significant other, their screaming spawn and the rest of their damn family. Constant cursing dirty looks and the overwhelming impulse to smack them upside their fool heads will happen. When this condition occurs, it is recommended that people stay home, drink to excess and shop online Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 Sounds like trying to find a place to eat on Friday night around here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted December 23, 2021 Share Posted December 23, 2021 Just experienced an afternoon of condition yellow verging into orange at the Lancaster Costco. Major complaint: oblivious cart handlers who mindlessly block aisles and intersections without looking or regard for others, and then wander off to look at something an aisle away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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