Alpo

You beat me to it. The Latin professor walked into the bar and told the bartender that he wanted a martinus. The bartender says, "You mean martini?" The professor says, "If I wanted two, I would have asked for two".

Thank you for noticing that. The word is FORE!

So would that be "treth"?

I'm not sure whether this is the Canadian version of code enforcement, or the Canadian version of a homeowners association. British Colombian "bylaws". https://globalnews.ca/news/10960360/10-wacky-bc-bylaw-calls-2024/

My wife and I decided to never go to bed angry. We've been awake since Tuesday. My wife said, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for dessert! Doesn't it embarrass you?" I said, "No, I keep telling them it's for you." I now know how it will all end for me, one of my kids will unplug my life support to charge their phone. At a wedding reception, someone yelled: "All married people, please stand next to the one person that has made your life worth living." The bartender was almost crushed to death. I met my wife at a single's night. I was surprised because I thought she was home with the kids. I want someone I can share my entire life with who will leave me alone most of the time. Yesterday I bought a world map, gave my wife a dart, and said, "Throw this and wherever it lands, I will take you on vacation." We're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

Was his service revolver a semi-automatic 9mm Glock, or a fully semi-automatic 9mm Glock? We don't need to have any of those fully semi-automatics.

My wife wants me to wear a bracelet that belonged to her grandfather. It says "Do Not Resuscitate." It's been months since I bought the book, “How To Scam People Online.” It still hasn't arrived yet. If you have a red wine stain on your carpet, get some white wine and drink it until you don't care anymore. One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others. Even rarer than a doctor who can't stand the sight of blood is a lawyer who can't stand the sight of money. If your palm itches, you are going to get something. If your crotch itches, you've already got it.

That's dumb. If my wife needed feminine hygiene products, and the two of us go to the store together, I would not go in to buy them. We might go in together, or she would go in because she knows what she wants. If the wife that knows nothing about cars goes to the auto parts store with the husband, and he tells her to go into the store and buy whatever. If she's got any sort of sense she will tell him to go get it because he knows what he wants. And that's what should have happened here. If I was the wife, either the husband would have gone in with me to get the brass magnet, or I would have told him to go get it himself because he knows what model he wants.