Marketing 101 for Dummies

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

 

1. You see a gorgeous woman at a restaurant.

    You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!"

    That's DIRECT MARKETING.

 

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous woman.

     One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him."

     That's ADVERTISING.

 

3. You see a gorgeous woman standing in line at Starbucks.

     You go up to her and get her telephone number.

     The next day, you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."

     That's TELEMARKETING.

 

4. You're at a night club and see a gorgeous woman.

     You get up and straighten your tie. You walk up to her and pour her a drink.

     Later you open the door of her car for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, and then say, "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?"

     That's PUBLIC RELATIONS

 

5. You're walking down the sidewalk.

     A gorgeous woman approaches you and says, "You're very rich! Please marry me!"

     That's BRAND RECOGNITION.

 

6. You see a gorgeous woman at a bar.

     You go up to her and say, "I'm very rich. Marry me!"

     She proceeds to slap you in the face.

     That's CUSTOMER FEEDBACK.

 

7. You see a gorgeous woman at a party.

     You go up to her and before you can say a word,

     another gentleman approaches her and says, "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him.

     That's COMPETITION eating into your MARKET SHARE.

 

8.  You arrive early at a party. You see a gorgeous woman there.

      You head in her direction, but before you can say, "I'm rich, marry me", your wife arrives.

      That's RESTRICTION for entering new markets.

    

[Marshal Chance Morgun]

And if after you marry her, then she divorces you and takes half your money, that's a hostile take-over

[Marshal Chance Morgun]

In my case, the "I'm rich" statement would be false advertising

[Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646]

And after repeated divorces thats called  POOR PLANNING

 

Imis