Alpo

Yeah I forgot a moment about John Wayne Gacy.

Just first names? Because we got this murderer - Lee Harvey Oswald - but then we've got this other murderer - James Earl Ray. And I guess a murderer would qualify as a criminal.

Yeah, probably.

While that's funny, I'm just impressed as hell that a five-year-old can read the word rooster.

When I clicked on that link, it told me that box of grits was $7.85 and it had free shipping. So if you ordered that box of grits to be sent to Australia, would they ship it for free?

And you thought you were hot stuff because you had a 8-track player.

I am fully aware that there are morons living in the state of Florida. Guys that get drunk and go swimming with the alligators. Guys that try to steal the police car with the cop in the passenger seat. But they don't say John Smith went swimming with the alligators and they ate him. They don't say Piggly Wiggly employee tried to steal a police car. They don't even say Coral Gables resident. They say Florida man. They love that term. That was what my post was about. Not that we don't have idiots living here, because we do. But why did they call him Florida man? Same reason people that like evil black rifles refer to hunters as Fudds. Because they themselves are stupid and they think it's a funny term.

In and around 1990, maybe 91, Hardee's hamburger chain bought Roy Rogers fried Chicken. And they started selling fried Chicken at their hamburger shops. Now I don't know if they got this from Roy Rogers or if somebody in the Norfolk area dreamed it up, but they sold cheese biscuits at Hardee's. And it was like the Red Lobster cheese biscuit - little pieces of cheddar cheese was in the biscuit dough and cooked while the biscuit was cooking. Boy that was good. I still lived in Florida but I was working in Norfolk, and one weekend I went home. Driving through some little town in North Carolina I got hungry, and pulled into a Hardee's. Ordered me a half a dozen cheese biscuits and a chocolate shake, went out and got in the truck and headed on down the road. After about a half a mile down the road I reached in the sack to get me one of them biscuits. They had taken a regular Hardee's biscuit and split it and put a piece of American cheese in it. Made a cheese sandwich using a biscuit instead of two slices of bread. Apparently they did not make cheese biscuits in North Carolina. And I was quite annoyed. Partly annoyed because this wasn't what I wanted, but mostly annoyed because they didn't say - a half a dozen what?? I mean, heck, if somebody asks for something that you don't sell, let him know.

USA Today HEADLINE Karen Read found not guilty of second-degree murder HEADLINE Amazon employee pees and poops on customer's property HEADLINE Florida man pees on meat in Sam's club Notice - it did not say "Massachusetts woman" found not guilty. It did not say "California woman" pees on porch. But "Florida man" pees on the meat.

My daddy told me about when he was in the Navy, he made up a pot of grits one morning. His Yankee roommate turned his nose up. He poured the leftover grits and a loaf pan and put them in the refrigerator. The next morning he sliced them, fried them in bacon grease and put them on the plate with a bottle of syrup on the table. The Yankee scarfed 'em down. Said he really liked fried mush. Fell I worked with one time - said when he was in the Air Force he was stationed in Louisiana. And the locals was all the time trying to get him to eat grits. So finally he went to breakfast with them and he ordered a bowl of grits. And he put on a big dollop of butter, and two big spoonfuls of sugar, and then poured milk in it. Said it was almost as good as oatmeal. I'm surprised he made it out of the restaurant alive. Grits ain't supposed to be sweet.

I don't see no beets. Or even no beetroots (since y'all don't know what the plant is called).