I swear this is not political

[J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE]

Bill and Hillary were married for 40 years. When they first got married Bill said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it."

 

 

 

In all their 40 years of marriage Hillary never looked. However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $1,874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed.

 

Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why. That evening they were out for a special dinner. After dinner Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the cans in the box?"

 

 

 

Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."

 

Hillary was shocked, but said, "I am very disappointed and saddened but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the years." They hugged and made their peace.

 

 

 

A little while later Hillary asked Bill, "But why do you have all that money in the box?"

 

 

 

Bill answered,.. well...

 

 

 

 

 

"Whenever the box filled with empties, I cashed them in."

[Hacker, SASS #55963]

Bill has a reputation......

 

Jeff Dunham's character Achmed the dead terrorist was comments about being in Washington DC.

 

Achmed: A bunch of idiots must live here.

Jeff: Why

Achmed: The Washington Monument looks nothing like the guy.

Achmed: It looks more like a tribute to Bill Clinton.

[Cherokee Sargent]

BUBBA always said all DOGS have fleas I just have more than most !

[Yul Lose]

So Barry and Michell were out on a date and Barry proposed. Michel said yes and hurried home to tell mama. Mama says"Michell did you tell Barry about your illness?" and Michell said not yet but she would before they got married. Well the big day came and Michell still hadn't told Barry about her illness so her mother made her promise to tell him that night. Well they get to the honey moon suite and Barry is undressing her and has everything off but the panties and she pushes his hands away and says Barry there's something I have to tell you that's very important. Barry says what is it honey and she says I have acute angina and Barry says"You better have acute angina because you sure have an ugly set of *******"!!!