Texas Phil Peeno #50923 Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 In dire need of a good laugh. Looking at the mirror is not working. Any good jokes for today to get me off the porch? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 somehow the other day at the Grizz cabin, we were talking about super heros and larger than life movie characters. Half way thru the conversation I had a pressing need to visit the outhouse, as I was walking that way, Miz Grizz asked me "What super hero are you?" I told her thru the closed door "I AM THE URINATOR!" Made me laugh, YMMV. Grizz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texas Phil Peeno #50923 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 At least you didn't say I AM THE EVACUATOR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Two Irishmen walk out of a bar... It could happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodine Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 A blonde single mother and business owner was struggling to pay her business bills and prayed to god "Please let me win the lottery, I've been a good christian mother and always take care of my kids." Lottery day comes and she doesn't win, loses her business. She is about to lose her home and prays to god "please let me win the lottery, I don't want my kids to be homeless! I've always been a good christian and mother to my kids, please don't let me down!" Lottery day comes and she doesn't win. Now she's living out of her car with her kids in tow, can't make her paymeents and the re-possessor is on her trail. she prays to god "Please Father, I've tried very hard to be a good christian and mother. Please let me win the lottery so I don't lose the car, it's all we have left." Lottery day comes, so does the repossessor, she loses her car and doesn't win the lottery. Now in a homeless shelter with her kids, she falls to her knees and prays to god " Ftaher what have I done to deserve this? I have been a faithful christian and loving mother, why have you forsaken me? At that moment the sky clouds, thunder roars and the heavens open in bright rays of golden light. A booming voice from the sky resounds: "SWEETHEART, YOU HAVE TO BUY A TICKET!!!" (my wife is blonde and that's one of her favorites) Bodine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodine Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 A blonde office worker is consantly annoyed by her co-workers treating her like a dumb blonde. One day while shopping she spies a beautiful shiny tubular canister and she goes over to the display. A salesperson asks her if she needs any help to which the blonde replies: "What is that?!?" The salesperson tells her : "That is a THERMOS." The blonde asks: "What does it do?" Salesperson syas: "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold all day long." The blonde says: "OOOOoohhh! I'll take one!" Off to work she goes, certain that all her office peers will be fascinated at her discovery, and that they'll be impressed that only she knows the secret of her new acquisiton. She puts the THERMOS on her desk so everyone can see it and sits waiting for the inevitable questions from her peers. Finally one the other workers passes by the desk and asks what she has on her desk. She sits up rail straight and proudly announces: "THIS is a THERMOS." "Oh." says the co-worker. "What's it for?" The blonde almost beside herself with pride beams: "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold all day long!" The co-worker then asks: "So, whattaya have in it?" The blonde says: "Two cups of coffeee and a cherry popsicle!" (that's my wifes favorite.) Bodine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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