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I Made It


Shotgun Bandit

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But not everyone is as lucky as I am......

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit

card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind

the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds,"

you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them .

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald's is selling the 1 /4 'ouncer'.

Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their

nannies and learning their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $ 1 .5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, our shrinking 401k Plans and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Life line and was connected to a call center in Iraq. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

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