Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967

The Kid noticed that, then checked and said no two tires matched. Kid called the police; when they arrived, the other driver said he had to call his truck's "owner." Turned out to be his mother; she arrived with a bunch of papers for an expired insurance policy. The police asked questions, but when the Kid asked about getting a copy of the report, they told him "The insurance companies will negotiate; we don't do reports anymore unless there are injuries." The Kid - who was by this time pretty sore and in a bit of a grumpy mood - said "Well, my back hurts and I'm headed to the hospital as soon as we're done here, so start writin'!" They did, and he did. Examined and X-ray'd, Doc said he'd be stiff and sore for a while and to take a few days off. The Kid said that his truck was in neutral and he'd just taken his foot off the brake when hit - "Dad, that truck had a static weight of close to 9,000 lbs and still got punted close to sixty feet."

Like this one that crashed into my son's 1-ton Ford Super Duty work truck yesterday? Guy then yelled at the Kid for being stopped for a red light! Fella must've been on an intellectual par with the kids in the meme - didn't think to turn off his engine, even though it was ingesting trim and body parts into the belts and pulleys and hemorrhaging coolant until it got hot enough to seize.

Kicking and complaining the entire trip...!

Wasn't it yesterday...? Rushed to the crematorium to avoid any chance of contaminating anyone else....

'Specially if she was ever on the plane with Jeff and Bill....

Yet...!

It's a good 'un~! Edit: Remember - this is Cyrus's Meme!

As of 21:15 06/05/2020, still going up. Let's hope the rioters don't invade the NYSE.

Why... "Moon River," o' course~! 'Twas the first thing that popped into my haid.

Famous Australian sports notables... What about Yvonne G.~?

Nope

What the heck, Pat... folks don't know what cartoons are, either.

Hmmm.... Ya know, the original Bird Flu was supposedly spread by ducks....

She must've watched Joaquin Phoenix's speech at the Oscars...

I was always a terrible math student. English, too, for that matter - which might explain why I could never come to terms with mixing letters with numbers! Anyway, I sent this to Helen Brimstone (retired engineer). She laughed like hell, then forwarded it to her granddaughter in in Brazil. Five minutes later got a response: I can relate to Joe's answer better~!!

First match as a Buckeroo when he was eight... he signed in, and the nice lady behind the counter looked at his name, smiled, and said "I'm sorry, Honey, but you're going to have to find a new alias. I'm pretty sure 'Sassparilla Kid' was taken years ago." The kid looked surpised, then thoughtful, then pulled his vest aside and displayed his badge. The nice lady looked at his bade and number, eyebrows went up, and she declared "Oh MY! You ARE the 'Sassparilla Kid!'"

Sorry, Warden... Sassparilla Kid* 8968L is my son. Just turned 28; had the alias since he was four or five... *"If it sounds the same, it is the same."

Oh... and Helen sez to tell ya "Hi!", Forty~! And asks that you do the same for her to Jittery and Deja. Fond memory of a GLB meeting and field trip to the Autry Museum.

I can assure you that Ms Helen Brimstone is alive and well and living in Fresno....

"Piso Mojado~!" Saw it on a sign the other day...

Wait... Didn't he sing "My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys...?"

Him too~!