No L a different Christmas Story

[The Coconino Pistolero, SASS # 72432]

This is about a Christmas-themed match so I figure it is fair to post on the Wire.

This was a short story I wrote for a stage on a Christmas themed match a few years back. At the same match we played Jingle bells with the rifle on steel targets.

The stage title is NO_L.

So’s y’all understand, ALL the l’s in the narrative below are silent. It helps to read this with some eggnog or other adult beverage. It may help to move your keyboard.

Here it tis:

One of Santa Claus’ reindeer threw a show so he had to land in Last Chance Gulch on a cold winters night. After dropping off the sleigh at the blacksmith shop he headed for the bar, the Lily Langtry, to wait on the re-shoeing. They was having a dress-like-Santa night so St. Nick fit right in.

He asked Lefty the barkeep for a Sarsparilla. Lefty laughed and said “Not drinking pard?” Santa said he was driving later.

As he served up the libation Lefty asked “What’s yer name stranger?” “Santa Claus” he replied.

“Who?” , says Lefty. “St. Nicholas” says the jolly old man.

Lefty rubbed his left ear (the only good one) and said “Say again pard?” “Kris Kringle” said the exasperated fat guy.

Lefty said “Well you are welcome to try your luck at the pool table”

Santa, known as Moose Jaw Fats the rest of the year, had sized up the Santa outfit-wearing competition and figured he would fleece these cowboys. After beating every one of the players, Lefty came up and said “I’m flabbergasted”.

Santa put his finger to the side of his nose and said in his best Clint Eastwood voice “A man has to know his limitations”.