A story as told to meself

[Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172]

Well, a man died in the mines by the name of McNabb

They washed him and laid him outside on the slab

And after the coroners measurements did take

Well, his wife took him home to a bloody fine wake

 

About 12 o’clock and the beer it was high

And the corpse he sat up and he says with a sigh

I can’t get to heaven, they won’t let me up

Til I bring them a quart of the Johnny Jump Up

[Spanish Bit Bobb]

Young girl from Donegal leaves home to find work among the bright lights of London.

Comes home 6 months later and steps out of a taxi, wearing a full-length mink coat.

"Begorrah, Colleen" says her mother "'Tis a lovely soft coat yer wearin' - an' it looks so expensive. Where did ye get that?"

Colleen replies, "Sure now, I won it at the bingo.

Don't they have wonderful prizes in London."

When the weekend's over, Colleen returns to the bright lights, but she's back to visit her mom a few months later.

This time, when she steps out of the taxi, she's wearing a beautiful gold wristwatch and a large diamond ring.

(Same exchange with mom -- same "Won it at bingo.

" Then Colleen returns to the bright lights once again.)

A few months later, she's back again. And this time she's sporting a beautiful emerald and diamond necklace with matching bracelet and earrings. She hands her mother 1,000 pounds and explains that she won it all at the bingo. Then she asks her mom to run her a bath as she needs to freshen up. Her mom draws the bath while Colleen gets undressed in her bedroom, but when she gets to the washroom, there's only a quarter inch of hot water in the bathtub. Colleen, a wee bit peeved at her mom being so cheap with the hot water after being handed 1,000 pounds, calls downstairs, "Mom! Sure now didn't I ask you to run me a bath? There's only a quarter inch of water in the tub!" "Indade there is, me darlin'" replies her mom. "But we don't want ye gettin' yer bingo ticket wet now, do we?"

[Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172]

Young girl from Donegal leaves home to find work among the bright lights of London.

Comes home 6 months later and steps out of a taxi, wearing a full-length mink coat.

"Begorrah, Colleen" says her mother "'Tis a lovely soft coat yer wearin' - an' it looks so expensive. Where did ye get that?"

Colleen replies, "Sure now, I won it at the bingo.

Don't they have wonderful prizes in London."

When the weekend's over, Colleen returns to the bright lights, but she's back to visit her mom a few months later.

This time, when she steps out of the taxi, she's wearing a beautiful gold wristwatch and a large diamond ring.

(Same exchange with mom -- same "Won it at bingo.

" Then Colleen returns to the bright lights once again.)

A few months later, she's back again. And this time she's sporting a beautiful emerald and diamond necklace with matching bracelet and earrings. She hands her mother 1,000 pounds and explains that she won it all at the bingo. Then she asks her mom to run her a bath as she needs to freshen up. Her mom draws the bath while Colleen gets undressed in her bedroom, but when she gets to the washroom, there's only a quarter inch of hot water in the bathtub. Colleen, a wee bit peeved at her mom being so cheap with the hot water after being handed 1,000 pounds, calls downstairs, "Mom! Sure now didn't I ask you to run me a bath? There's only a quarter inch of water in the tub!" "Indade there is, me darlin'" replies her mom. "But we don't want ye gettin' yer bingo ticket wet now, do we?"

 

Saints preserve us!

[Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172]

Well, I went up the lee road, a friend for to see

They call it the madhouse in Cork by the Lea

And when I got there, sure the truth I will tell,

Well, they had the poor bugger locked up in a cell

 

Said the guard, testing him, say these words if you can

Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran

Tell him I’m not crazy, tell him I’m not mad

It was only a sip of the bottle I had