Red Logan #12252 Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 NOTES LEFT IN MILK BOTTLES . I've just had a baby, please leave another one. Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk. Cancel one pint after the day after today. Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it. Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk. Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today. Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole. Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks. Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round. When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress. Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea? My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle? Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me. Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant. Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it. From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk. My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight. Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday. When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don't leave any milk. No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 ....... MilkMans is soooooo understanding ...... otherwise they wouldn't know what those notes meant ... .... My Daddy was the milkman ... er, .... Dairy Farmer ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonel John Hays, SASS #29625 Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 My Dad was also a milkman in the late '30's.....in San Antonio. Brings back fond stories of his early morning "encounters" Recall it was Metzkers Milk??...any of you SA folks remember them? Thanks.. Red!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadeye Doug Dalton SASS#65449L Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 The milkman finds a note in the box that says, "Please leave 22 quarts of milk." He normally leaves 2 qts. every other day, at this house. He rings the bell, to confirm the order. The woman says, "Yes, I want 22 qts. of milk, I want to take a bath in it. It's supposed to be good for the skin." The milkman says, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The woman says, "No, I just want it up to my tits." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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