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Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770

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Posts posted by Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770

    It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted · Edited by Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770

    3 hours ago, Alpo said:

    I've been saying similar for years.

     

    If I was a woman I would be ashamed to admit that I was either too stupid to look and see if the seat was down, or too stupid to know how to lower the seat, and therefore I had to depend on the guy to always put the seat down.

    I remembered this from some years ago referencing that very idea. I didn't write this, I'm not this clever, but I certainly agree with it.

    I present, THE MAN RULES:

     

    Please note: These are all numbered"1 " ON PURPOSE!

    1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you think your fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, We meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both. if you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched... We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle...

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics As Football or Hockey.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    • Like 2
    • Thanks 1
    • Haha 2

    It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    On 1/27/2024 at 7:11 PM, Alpo said:

    With the butt sitting right on top of the caption, when you read the caption you're staring right at the butt. Then that bright green t-shirt above the butt draws your eye away from the muted dark background. Of course you don't see the Oreo. The picture's made to have you look at the girl.

     

    1 hour ago, Chantry said:

    You say that like it is a bad thing

    The difference is that I could DO something with the Oreo.

    • Like 1
    • Haha 6

    Ba-Dump Tissssh - Memes

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    17 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

    image.thumb.png.acb381ebed064b48530447607982b19a.png

     

    1 hour ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said:

     

    When Custer was a puppy, a friend came by with her 3 year old daughter. Custer, being a puppy, was all over the girl trying to play. To get away from Custer, the girl went into his crate and closed the door. :D

    image.png.b8549f2a40052ab321c718c84c87b515.png

    • Like 1
    • Thanks 1
    • Haha 4

    It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    38 minutes ago, John Kloehr said:

    Mary had a little lamb,

    Nashed potatoes on the side,

    And some wonderful asparagus.

     

    A romaine salad with blue cheese dressing,

    A lovely glass of a delightful chianti,

    And a slice of chocolate cake for desert.

    Mary had a little sheep.

    With the sheep she went to sleep.

    The sheep turned out to be a ram. 

    Mary had a little lamb.

    • Haha 2

    It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted · Edited by Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770

    10 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:


    Yeah...I worked at a drive-in that played the movie for two weeks.  

    I somehow didn't think that you weren't familiar with it.

    I'm guessing that "Human Beans" is just a play on words.

    • Like 1
    • Haha 2
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